#fuck you it's my tags section i can be as annoying as i want

[arctic-reptile]

my pieces for the diru fanzine project!

die and shinya after l'ange du mal and le génie du mal, because honestly who can resist some religious imagery? kyo after kyo.

i'm really proud of these and the hours and hours of work that went into them, so i'm very excited to finally be able to share them with the world :)

[thewingedwolf]

incredibly annoying that i’m on desk literally all day except for lunch when there’s two other people working during the same hours who are off desk All Day Long, like they can’t be on desk for an hour? they’re not even doing programs!

[prudereality]

ohhhhhhhhh my god

[suhsweet]

for halloween ⟡ kmg

wc: 3097 | pair: bf!mingyu x afab!reader | genre: smut, 18+ (minors go away) | tags: horror movie mentions, brief mention of gore (in relation to horror movie), living room sex, netflix & chill, size kink, fingering, reader has medium to long hair

summary: “I want to see if we can fuck each others’ brains out, so good to the point that we forget that there’s a scary movie playing right in front of us.”

authors note: sorry, i’ve been away for forever. with halloween coming up, i rushed this to get it out in time. it's not the best, but please enjoy <3

“Kim Mingyu, we are not spending our Saturday night watching a horror movie out of all things.”

“Sure we are, for Halloween.”

You smack a palm against your forehead, watching your stupid boyfriend flick through stupid Netflix on the stupid TV to search for a stupid horror movie. The options flick past, each movie poster looking more creepy and gruesome than the last.

“You forgot the biggest issue here. We both hate horror movies. We don’t like horror.”

“I know, but I think I might come to love it after tonight,” Mingyu smirks to himself and he waves you over towards him.

“Why do you think that?” Your eyes narrow, watching your soon-to-be-dumped boyfriend choose a film that you didn’t bother to learn the name of. As the screen goes black, the movie poster remains in your mind. All you remember are the blood splatters on the main character’s face, and the shadowy figure behind them.

The image brings about a chill down your spine, causing you to spin around and start heading for your shared bedroom. “Nope. Actually, don’t worry. Enjoy your movie! I’m just gonna hide here for the next hour and forty five minutes...”

“Baby no!” Mingyu laughs and you hear him follow you.

The heavy slap of his house slippers rapidly follow you as you speed away, a squeal threatening to escape your throat. Nevertheless, you're effortlessly scooped up into his arms bridal style.

Maybe if you close your eyes and go limp like a dead fish he’ll change his mind… You give up on fighting your boyfriend's strong hold, allowing your head to flop backward and your arms to your sides.

Entering the living room once more, Mingyu's laughter echoes throughout the apartment. Still holding you in his arms, he falls onto the plush sofa causing the both of you to let out a simultaneous ‘oomph’.

He keeps you sideways on his lap, one arm braced around your waist. He fusses over you, brushing your hair out of your face as he acts oblivious to your squirming.

You're trying your best to wriggle your way out of this cage of yummy tanned skin and muscle before he presses play on the movie. “Let me goooooo!”

“No!” Mingyu grunts, and if you thought his hold was tight enough, he pulls you in even tighter.

After three minutes of Mingyu chuckling at your poor attempts of escape, you eventually give up. It's times like these that you remember that he goes to the gym everyday, and never fails to meet his target protein intake. With him sitting down, you also forget he looms over you like a skyscraper. Fighting him is impossible.

You pout, crossing your arms with a soft, "Hmmph."

Mingyu gives a satisfied whoop as he settles you in his arms. Your attempts of appearing annoyed with him immediately dissolves as the ominous music grows louder.

Suddenly, the lamp beside your sofa switches off. Apart from the TV itself, it was the main source of light in the otherwise dark room. Your head whips over to see Mingyu in the process of retracting his hand from the switch, a devilish grin on his face.

“Where is my boyfriend!?” You practically wail. “My Mingyu wouldn’t even look at the horror section on Netflix!”

Mingyu just chuckles to himself. You bury your face in his chest, and wrap your arms around his neck. The beginnings of the jump-scares and screaming starts, and you feel the thrum of your pulse quicken.

Mingyu coos at you and begins to rub his hand across your back rhythmically. His other hand cradles your head to him. His lips softly press kisses into your hair, slowly trailing down to your temple, cheek, jaw, and then your neck. The kisses gradually go from sweet and brief, to slow and burning. You can hear his lips coming into contact with your skin, and the soft suction of his mouth.

“Mingyu…” You clench the fabric of his hoodie in your fist.

“I had a thought,” he says, completely ignoring you.

“Something you should stop doing after this,” you grumble. Being scared and horny is a weird and unfamiliar sensation.

Mingyu chuckles softly. The light touch of the back of his pointer finger tickles your cheek. You notice the way his eyes become half-lidded, hypnotized. “I want to see if we can fuck each others’ brains out, so good to the point that we forget that there’s a scary movie playing right in front of us..”

A shocked laugh bubbles up inside of you. It takes you a second to process the unexpected turn of events. “For Halloween?”

“Yup,” the side of his mouth quirks up slightly as your eyes meets his.

“You better make me scream louder than her,” you point your finger to the TV screen where all sorts of terror is occurring to the main character.

Mingyu kisses up and down your jaw once more, his fingers gripping your sides as if wondering whether to rip off your clothes or take them off intact. “I’ll try my best, baby.”

Suddenly upright and straddling Mingyu’s lap, your fingers snake through your lover’s hair. Through your lashes, you delight in the way he completely succumbs himself to your touch. Like he's happy to take anything that you'll give him, his head is tilted backwards and his eyes are shut.

Mingyu is chasing your lips when you pull back from the kiss, refusing to have your faces more than an inch away from the other. You’re about to tease his dopey expression when the back of your head is held in place by his hand, and his lips are back on yours. Your teeth clash briefly before you find your rhythm, his tongue teasing your own. And all while this is happening, he’s humping up into you.

“How am I already pussy drunk and I haven’t even taken your clothes off?” Mingyu whispers into your ear, nipping the lobe before kissing your neck. He’s licking stripes, making marks, and worshipping the skin where your jaw and neck meet. The sensation has your toes curling and your eyes screwing shut.

“Min…gyu,” you sigh out. Your hands steady themselves on his firm shoulders and you begin to grind against his heavy bulge. He watches in amazement, lazily palming your breast and breathing heavily.

You’ve always loved the sounds that Mingyu makes when you fuck. His raspy voice was already attractive, but in bed? When it’s heavy with lust and need for only you? It’s fucking heavenly.

“So, so pretty,” Mingyu sighs, eyes rolling when your hips move a certain way. You pause to reach under the waistband of his black sweats, easily finding his arousal.

His hand reaches up to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing the shape of your bottom lip. You immediately catch it in your mouth and start sucking it like you would a lollypop. Your tongue in particular starts drawing patterns on the pad of this thumb. Mingyu’s gaze seems to grow darker as he watches you.

Immediately he retracts his hand, and starts stripping you of your shirt. You help take off the last of it off your body while Mingyu eagerly latches his mouth onto your chest, a hand greedily grabbing and squeezing the one that doesn’t have the attentions of his tongue.

You’re the one holding his head close this time. You watch Mingyu with his mouth on your tits, licking and sucking as if you’re his life source. He looks completely drunk on you, focused on worshipping your body. Your sounds encourage him to reach down into your pants, nudging away your panties to find your slick folds.

His fingers outline the folds of your pussy, then focus on your clit. You hum with approval as he starts drawing circles on the little nub. You feel him go back to tasting your tits, switching between kissing your neck and whispering dirty things into your ear.

“Your fingers… Fuck,” you pant. “I’m gonna-”

“I know baby,” Mingyu takes in your expressions with a satisfied smirk. His fingers speed up, pressing firmly. He pulls your head down to kiss you, wanting to feel you moan against his lips as you cum.

And you do; with your lips pressed to Mingyu’s, holding onto his shoulders as you buck against his fingers. His gaze burns into you, and it's so intense that if you weren’t in the middle of an orgasm, you would’ve blushed furiously.

As you come down from your high, Mingyu's there to hold you steady. You lazily kiss him, telling him thanks with your tongue and soft moans. His fingers dive into your hair, making your pretty tresses snake around his fingers. He plays with the ends of the strands just as you pull away and start to get on your knees.

"What're you doing?" He whines, hands gripping your arms firmly.

You frown. "Returning the favor."

"No, no, no," he rushes out. You're pulled back up on your feet when Mingyu unceremoniously yanks your pants down and pulls you back onto his lap. "I need you now."

You giggle at his desperation, and allow him to manhandle you. He strips himself of his shirt while you line his cock up to your pussy. You’re so close to having him stretch you out that your toes curl from anticipation.

However, after many lessons learnt you remembered to prep yourself at the last second. Effortlessly, you lean down to spit onto Mingyu’s cock, rubbing it all over the tip until it glistens.

Mingyu groans. “It’s so hot when you do that.”

You wink at him. His grip on your waist keep you steady as you slowly lower yourself. On instinct your eyes flicker to his to watch the minor changes in his expression as he feels your body take him. The softening of his eyes, the soft flare of his noise and the plush of his lips caught between his teeth.

And although the two of you have had sex enough times to know the other’s body like their own, the feeling of you bottoming out on his cock never gets old. Feeling so full, and so stretched out, nothing could feel as good as Mingyu’s heavy cock.

His eyes seem to dart across every plane on your face, wanting to take in your expressions too. You tenderly kiss him on the mouth and slowly start to move.

“Fuck…” Mingyu breathes out, his eyes fluttering closed.

As you start to work your body on his dick, Mingyu’s arms circle around your body. His trunk-like arms keep you close to him as he presses his head into your shoulder, breathing heavily and taking in your scent.

It’s so intimate, and perfect until you hear the movie and remember that it's still playing. Your attention unintentionally flickers over to the TV just in time to witness a jump scare. The sudden close up of the monster's morbid features, combined with the loud music has you squeezing Mingyu tighter, and a minor squeak leaves you as you jump in fright.

Mingyu’s perks up, alert. You briefly witness the protective side of him come out. His misplaced concern has you feeling sorry, and a small laugh escapes you.

His expression softens when he looks back at you and sees you smiling. He doesn't say anything, but his face asks you about what happened.

"I saw a jump scare," you admit, noticing your movements have slowed.

Mingyu shakes his head in mock disappointment. "Well that won't do. My theory would be proven wrong..." His warm, large hands trail upwards from your hips to your sides. His warm palms smooth over your upper back, creeping up past your shoulder blades before stopping at the curve of each of your shoulders.

You gaze up at him just as he pulls your body down onto him by your shoulders. The sudden intrusion doesn't hurt, but it makes you gasp. Suddenly feeling full brings an unfamiliar pleasure, and judging by your lover's face, he definitely loves it.

Mingyu's heavy lidded gaze never strays from your face, but he breaths heavily as he fucks up into you. His grip never weakens, even while your chanting his name, even while your legs squeeze together in an effort to halt his movements as you come. He manages to continue to fuck you regardless.

That has you forgetting about the movie in an instant.

"Holy... Fuck," you groan in between heavy breaths.

"What do you think of the movie so far?" Mingyu teases as he lifts you off of him and onto the sofa, on your back. As he covers your body with his own, you feel him tease your breasts. Each nipple is pinched, and the other even gets a little nip.

"Mmm," you gather your hair out from under you in an effort to get comfortable. You reach between your legs to reach for his cock. "What movie?"

Mingyu laughs as he slowly kisses up your chest and onto your lips. Your open mouthed kisses are interrupted by the sensation of him filling you up, and the two of you groan into each other's mouths.

"Fuck, angel," Mingyu's rasping into your mouth. He lays his right forearm down next to your head, while his other arm is next to your waist holding himself up. They both work to keep his weight from crushing you, but allows him to still feel every inch of your skin touching his own. "You don't understand how much I fucking need you."

Feeling caged in like this has you feeling so safe that you start to go delirious. Everywhere you look is Mingyu. If you look up, you'll find him watching you with your name escaping his lips like it was a prayer. If you look between your legs, you can see the silhouette of his heavy cock thrusting into you, making you feel so full. If you look to either side of you, you'd see his muscles working to keep himself up.

"So good," you gasp. He seems to agree from the way that his head dips down to kiss you. Your bottom lip gets stuck in-between his teeth as he sucks at it hungrily.

Unlike you, Mingyu isn’t caged in. He has the freedom to look anywhere but down, to avoid looking at your pretty face and increase the chances of him coming early. Yet, like magnets, his eyes can’t stray far from your pretty lips or flushed cheeks. The little sweat beads that decorate your face are his doing, just like the fucking delectable view of your breasts bouncing from his thrusts.

The possessive side of him revels in the fact that only he can see you like this. He likes that it’s because of him that you’re feeling this pleasure.

Your arms loop around his neck, tugging his head back down. Your lips meet in another round of hungry kisses. The two of you are as close of you can get, sharing the same breath, with your foreheads pressed together. Your skin is slick with sweat– his or yours, you're not sure. Mingyu looks close, and to catch up, you bring your fingers to your clit.

"Good girl," he praises. "Make sure you come with me. Come on this cock, baby."

You can't even give him a proper reply. All you can do is nod as you watch him work you both to the edge.

Without warning, you feel yourself come first and your words come out slurred. "'Gyu, 'm cummin'."

Your words act as the catalyst and Mingyu squeezes his eyes shut. He buries his head into your neck, allowing only you to hear his deep moans.

The last of your orgasms drain from the two of you, and you laugh softly up at your lover. He grins down at you, leaning in to kiss you when the final jump-scare from the movie makes itself known.

A loud screech from the movie’s demon, combined with the sharp music has you both jumping in fright. Mingyu collapse onto you, hugging your body and burying his face into your neck. You instinctively stretch your arms around his shoulders as if that would protect him from any bad guys, and you shut your eyes from seeing any more of the film.

The music changes after a few seconds, making you peek an eye open. The credits are creeping up the screen, and you let out a loud sigh as you go limp.

Mingyu’s head perks up to look at you, and then the TV. “Hey! We did it.”

You laugh, remembering the stupid theory your boyfriend came up with. Your hand rises in a hi-five to which Mingyu slaps enthusiastically.

Mingyu takes in your dopey, fucked-out expression with a toothy grin of his own. You feel him press a smattering of kisses all over your face, and then the pressure of his body rolling away from you to retrieve the TV remote. Even if it's just to turn the TV off, you whine in protest at the idea of having to separate from him so soon. You rise and attach yourself to his back like a koala would a tree.

Mingyu stands, fixing his arms into the crooks of your knees to piggyback you. He walks to your bedroom with a pep in his step. He mumbles to himself, “I won’t be able to sleep all night after that movie.”

His innocuous tone makes you laugh. “Because you were definitely focused on the movie and nothing else.”

“Yeah, yeah. It had demons and stuff.”

“Oh yeah, I remember seeing that too,” you laugh. "Did you see the thing that happened to that person at that place?"

"Oh yeah, totally," Mingyu scoffs. "I know exactly what you're talking about. Wasn't scared of that at all."

He deposits you at the foot of your bed and starts to crawl up on top of you again, his body acting as a cage once more.

The predatorial gleam in his eyes elicits a shiver from you.

“You know, I normally find it hard to fall asleep after watching scary movies too,” you say as Mingyu leans down to kiss your jaw.

Mingyu hums in interest. “Glad to hear it isn’t just me. But I know a couple things we could do to help us sleep.”

You burst out laughing at the cheesiness of it all. Mingyu looks up at you, giving you another of his precious toothy grins. You smile, combing your fingers through his hair and tugging gently. “Alright, alright, let’s get into round two already.”

[astonmartinii]

friendship bracelets | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

charles' gf is beloved in the fandom for her love for frienship bracelets

yourusername

liked by arthurleclerc, charles_leclerc and 341,874 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: charles fell asleep mid craft session :(

view all comments

user3: she's everything, he's just ken

charles_leclerc: this is a false narrative, i was just resting my eyes and not allowing myself to distract you from your hard work

yourusername: i'd say you're a man of the people but your snoring is something else

charles_leclerc: I DO NOT SNORE TAKE THAT BACK

danielricciardo: i've taken enough flights with you charlie to confirm that you do in fact snore

charles_leclerc: i am being stabbed in the back so many times today you hate to see it

user4: i'm going to spa, guarantee me a friendship bracelet and i'll back you

charles_leclerc: done ✅

user4: charles marc herve perceval leclerc has factually NEVER snored in his entire life and any allegations that he has are both slanderous and libellous and you will be DEALT WITH IN A COURT OF LAW

yourusername: ummm what?

charles_leclerc: what colour bracelet do you want?

user5: what in the everloving fuck just happened?

lilymunhe: anyhow... y/n you are so sexy

yourusername: right back at you baby ;)

daniel3.jpeg

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 489,034 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

daniel3.jpeg: this friendship bracelet business is serious stuff, also charles and y/n being gross as usual

view all comments

user6: fuck romeo and juliet i want what these bitches have

yourusername: daniel do not underestimate the power of the friendship bracelets

danielricciardo: oh i'm not doubting it i saw a girl ignore me, jump across the hood of my car just to get one

yourusername: i mean i'm pretty sure that girl broke a toe, i paid for her health insurance

landonorris: people are breaking toes for these things?

yourusername: it was not the intent on my behalf, i just wanted a sister/brotherhood among fans

user7: don't make them so cute then

charles_leclerc: what do you mean gross? daniel, can i not be happily in love?

danielricciardo: i am happy for you charles but if i have to hear you break out in a sonnet about the smell of y/n's perfume or the colour of her eyes i will pull my hair out

yourusername: what hair?

danielricciardo: ????

yourusername: sorry i admit that was a low blow from me

user8: is that charles taking a pic of y/n in the last one?

yourusername: yes my lovely lil photographer

f1

liked by maxverstappen1, scuderiaferrari and 1,403,874 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

f1: make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it, you've got no reason to be afraid ✨ y/n and charles arrived at spa this weekend with the friendship bracelets that are coveted by f1 fans!

view all comments

user11: all the loser men in this comment section making fun of these don't understand how much of a stan FLEX it is to have one of these

user12: no jokes if i see someone with one this weekend i'm offering them out on the spot

user13: i literally only put mine on after the race when i got home cause i was so scared it would get stolen

alexalbon: cringey faves

yourusername: are you still annoyed i ran out last race before you could get one?

alexalbon: why did lily get one before me :(((

lilymunhe: girlies first

yourusername: what lily said

user14: all jokes aside the whole friendship bracelet thing has been great for creating a sense of belonging for girls in this sport and i can't thank y/n enough for giving us something that is uniquely ours in f1

yourusername: that honestly makes me so so happy, girls get a tough ride in all sports, but esp in f1 and i wanted to find a way to bring us all together and i actually wanted to ask if the girls (and guys) wanted to start making our own and start exchanging them at races :)

f1: we back this !!

charles_leclerc: lift the jewellery ban so i can wear mine in the car

yourusername: i can't allow you to put that extra weight in the car the sf-23 needs all the help it can get

scuderiaferrari: :((((

user15: LOOOOOOOOOL

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and 509,871 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: my heart is so full. first, charlie back on the podium where he deserves to be, i'm so proud my love, you'll be back to winning ways soon. second, MY GIRLS. words cannot express how happy i was to see you all exchanging bracelets and making new friends! i also received so many from you which will all go in my collection at home. safe journeys back and see you guys after the summer break.

view all comments

user16: it really is the summer of the girls and barbie

user17: i've literally never felt more included at a gp before, so many girls just introduced themselves to each other and i made so many new friends :))))

charles_leclerc: thank you cheri, i love you always

yourusername: you deserve everything my love

charles_leclerc: also thank you everyone for the friendship bracelets, we got given enough for the entire ferrari garage has one as well as everyone who worked in paddock club this weekend!! keep spreading the love <3

user18: never have i ever loved a couple more than these two

user19: i am allowing my parasocial relationship to go wild rn

danielricciardo: thank you for starting this y/n even if i thought it was a bit silly to start with but my arms are full and i'm FEELING the love

maxverstappen1: same here, p is enjoying all her new bracelets 🧡

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 908,673 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: back on the podium - i'm very happy with that, the best way to go into the summer! thank you for all of your support ❤️

view all comments

user20: my king right there

user21: the rocketships don't count so p1 in my heart

yourusername: prince of monaco doing prince of monaco things

charles_leclerc: makes sense since you're my princess

landonorris: GAG

yourusername: let us be cute, be lonely on your own time

scuderiaferrari: proud of you charles

yourusername: build a better car i beg

user22: speaking for all of us

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,098,673 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: suprised her with a trip to paradise and she's still making friendship bracelets

view all comments

user23: they're both so sexy i can't

yourusername: i love you but you can't take the hobby out of the girl

user24: she loves us too much to stop now

yourusername: they're not wrong ....

charles_leclerc: you love me the most though, right?

yourusername: of course!!

user25: oh to be them

pierregasly: invite lost in the mail i see

charles_leclerc: literally the romantic trip you helped me plan?

pierregasly: i still i want you to take me for pasta dinners?

yourusername: back off frenchie

note: ENJOY, i kinda love this but let me know what you think - i am getting to requests but this popped into my head and i had to write it before i forgot

[lovelyiida]

(NF) Hey lovely, I saw that you want requests. Could I request a iida x fem!reader fluff? I even have a prompt! You know how in MHA it’s winter break and everyone is bored at the dorms? Someone gets the idea to throw a whole fake wedding and invite all first years/the whole student body. The girls of 1A vote the bride and the guys vote the groom and reader is the bride and iida is the groom, which is good because they secretly like each other, y’know the drill. Iida and reader do the ceremony with vows and the rings and the kiss and all that. Also, there’s lots of cake and a huge party at the end with fireworks!!

That’s the cutest shi I’ve ever cooked up and I want someone talented to write it. If you could tag me to, that’d be awesome!

Love, psi kid 🎀

OHHHHHH MY GOD I FUCKING LIVE FOR THIS, this is seriously so cute. God, why can't I think of these ideas by myself??

꧁★𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝟏-𝐀 𝐖𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆★꧂ — afab

Snow falls gently outside, the world a picturesque white. The students of class 1-A lounge around, boredom plastered on their faces. It's a snow day, just great.

Ochaco twirls a strand of hair and glances at her friends. Even the lively Kirishima looks lethargic on the couch. Denki was about to sink into the floor if he couldn't find a way to annoy his fellow comrades.

Then, an idea sparked.

Ochaco's eyes spark with a twinkle and her lips curled into an intriguing smirk. "We need to do something fun, how about a fake wedding?"

The class exchanges intrigued looks, murmuring amongst themselves. Mina's eyes spark in excitement at the idea. "Yeah! We can vote and groom for our class. It'll be totally adorable!" She squealed.

Everyone nods in agreement as chatter bursts across the common space for today's event.

The entire Class 1-A along with various first years assemble outside, enveloped by the festive atmosphere. Electricity fills the air as the class has been sectioned into two groups to help figure out who will be the bride and the groom.

And out of the corner of your eye, you noticed IIda standing awkwardly in the midst of all this, glancing quick looks at you with a light blush. You couldn't help but chuckle to yourself and your friends at the act.

Later into the evening, the room now transformed with makeshift decorations and fairy lights strung everywhere (you can thank Momo for that). The class sat excitedly as Ochaco and Tsuyu held envelopes, ready to announce the lovely couple in waiting.

Standing at the improvised altar (standing on top of a table), they spoke with a grin.

"The results are in! The bride-to-be is... Y/n!"

The class erupts in cheers as you sit in shock of the results, slowing picking yourself off your feet, you stand in front of the "altar," as your face flushes in excitement. Tsuyu then spoke:

"And the groom-to-be is...Iida!"

Iida goes stiff, and his face turns crimson. The boys laugh and nudge him forward. Standing from his feet, he nears himself towards you and bows politely. You send him a wink of encouragement before whispering, "don't be so nervous. I bet you'd make a great husband."

Iida smirks at your words before whispering back, "and I know you'd make a wonderful wife."

As so, a makeshift ceremony begins!

Iida and you stand at the altar with hands intertwined. Wedding dress and suit on (thanking Momo once more!), looking like a match made out of heaven. Everyone watches eagerly as the both of you stand awkwardly, awaiting each other's vows.

"Don't chicken out, four-eyes," Bakugo chuckled. Iida side-eyed the blonde before clearing his throat and pushing up his glasses. "Y/n, ever since the first day we met. I knew you were a woman who I could spend the rest of my days with. You're kind, smart, beautifully-spirited, and one of the best teammates I could see fighting with me to the death..."

The class is swooned by Iida's words, you couldn't help but stand there in shock at the blatant confession thrown in your face.

"Y/n, I vow to always support and protect you...in sickness and in health...even in this mock wedding."

The class erupts in cheers as they hear Iida's beautiful poetic vows.

You chuckle, softening the moment once more.

"Iida, you're someone who I trust and care for deeply, you are a pinnacle in everyone's life and without you, I would be nothing. Your presence keeps me motivated and ready to take on whatever is ahead of me...because that's what you are and I deeply admire you for that."

"You're smart, you're hardworking, and super handsome..."

Iida quickly reddened at your words, your voice sounding like music to his ears. Oh, how he wished this was real.

"And I vow to always support and protect you...in sickness and in health...even in this mock wedding, or out of it."

As you finish, the class erupts in laughter as Iida and Reader exchange playful glances. Holding out your paper-made rings, you change and slide them onto each other's fingers. Ochaco and Tsuyu, beaming with joy, declare them fake husband and fake wife.

"You may now, fake-kiss the bride!"

You'd begin to go in for a simple kiss on the cheek, but suddenly Iida grabs a soft hold of your waist and scoops you down. Planting a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth.

A respectful man, we love!

Claps were heard around the room, but the moment between the two of you felt as if no one was there and the room was fading into black. As if nothing mattered but the to of you.

Mina teasingly claps before yelling, "I now pronounce you fake husband and fake wife! You may now fake-party!" The room transforms into a lively celebration, with music playing and students dancing joyfully.

Iida and Reader sneak glances at each other, their fake smiles turning into genuine ones. Photos and videos were taken throughout the night of the heartwarming moment between the class.

And as the night grew young, and the slow subsides. The both of you stand outside and look at the breathtaking array of stars that light up the night sky. Your hand tangled into his, as your head fell softly against Iida's broad shoulder.

Iida couldn't help but play with his makeshift ring, smiling to himself about what the future holds, and how he wanted this future to be a potential reality. Your head suddenly moves from his shoulder, which earns a soft hum from Iida.

You look at him with a light blush as you speak, "this was amazing... thank you, Iida." You spoke softly with a warm smile. "No thank you, Y/n, this night wouldn't have been the same without you."

You hum in response before placing your head back on his shoulder.

You share a quiet, perfect moment as the stars illuminate your faces as a "newlywed couple." Only for the moment to be laughed upon in the future, when your real wedding comes to fruition.

When someone who gives me a tenya rec tells me to jump, I'm gonna JUMP!!!!

— 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ𝓁𝓎𝒾𝒾𝒹𝒶 ❤︎︎

[chleem]

Flashing Lights #5

Series; actor Drew x actress reader

Summary: Drew gets involved in the worst scandal of his career. One way to solve it? Proving to the whole world that he’s the sweetest lover to exist. Who better to help than the one person he can’t stand? You, an A class actress with an alcohol addiction. So, will Drew clear up his reputation, or leave with a bigger mess to clean up?

Genre: fake dating, enemies to lovers(?, slow burn, angst, smut,

Warning: mentions of alcohol, swearing, mentions of k!lling oneself, mentions of rape & sa, mentions of drug usage, smoking & vaping,

⋆.˚ please dont copy, if inspired please tag me

⋆.˚ this is entirely fictional, if uncomfortable then don't read

♡⸝⸝ chapter4 | index | chapter6

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Mid-April 2024

What’s so fun about singing in a desert? 

The concept of Coachella always seemed ridiculous to you, yet here you were, walking to see the last performance of the day. Of course, hand in hand with Drew. 

The whole day the two of you were 'inseparable', looking at different shows. For most of the time, he’s kept an arm around you, whispering useless stuff in your ear whenever someone films the two of you.

Ever since stepping out of the car this morning, you’ve attracted a few stares, photographers hoping to take pictures of you and Drew. After all, this was your first time attending Coachella, and you did dress accordingly to theme.

The stylist definitely did it on purpose, making you and Drew match. You wore a denim skirt, a cute lace top, cowboy boots, and accessories from brands you’re an ambassador for. Drew wore a denim jacket, black pants, white shirt, with accessories. Oddly similar to yours. 

Good thing your sunglasses cover your line of sight from others, especially Drew. You didn’t want him to know that you’ve been glancing at his body since the you both stepped out from the car. But really, he must know that he's attractive, right?

The last time you saw him was at the yacht, and things…surprisingly ended well. You got drunk, which resulted in a relaxed you that was willing to pose lovingly with Drew. After that, the two of you headed back home in seperate flights.

Once you step into the VIP section, you let go of his hand. You feel him staring at the side of your face, but you just stare at the dimly-lighted stage. This whole day he’s been the one initiating intimacy, whereas you were just focused on getting as much free beer as you can (they were passing drinks out). And now, at this last show, you had enough of him. 

You down the last of your beer, handing your empty cup to a random bodyguard standing watch. He takes it with a confused face, to which you ignore. Gosh, the beer here was horrible. 

Drew attempts to hold your hand again, and you just cross your arms. “Why not?” He whispers in your ear, standing closely to you. 

“Because I don’t want to anymore,” you simply say, staring at the stage. When was this show going to start? You couldn’t be more eager to go home, and drink some beer that’s actually good. 

“But you held my hand for the whole day.”

“Yes, and I hated every second of it,” you turn over to him while saying this, looking right into his eyes. Even in the night his eyes are bright. How fucking annoying. 

“Well, so did I. But you don’t see me bitching, do you?”

“Because you know you have a career to save. I don’t-“

“Don’t remind me about what I’m doing. I know what I’m doing, but I’m not sure you do.”

“I’m right here, aren’t I?” You say, tapping his chest in an annoying way to show you’re in front of him. He looks down at you, poking his tongue against his cheek. 

“Stop touching me,” he says in a low voice, his eyes still staring into yours. 

“What are you going to do about it?” You taunt, and you push his shoulder as hard as you can, and he doesn’t flinch at all. You do it to the other side as well, gaining the same reaction from him. Is he a stone? 

You flick his forehead. Same reaction, his eyes staring irritatedly into yours.

You reach to pinch his cheeks, but he grabs your wrists and pulls you into him. He captures you into a forced hug, your head deep between his chest. You feel one arm around your waist, the other holding your wrist tight to him. What?

All you smell is Drew, and all you see is Drew (’s chest).

“Hug me back and smile,” you hear him say, his fingers tapping against your waist. 

“Fuck no,” you murmur against his chest.

“Everyone’s watching,” he says. 

Fucking hell.

You shake his hand away from your wrist, and you hug him. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his upper body down a bit. Resting your chin on his shoulder, you glance at the back. Okay. The front row all had their phones out and were shamelessly taking photos of you two. Gosh, can’t people mind their own fucking business? 

You stay like that hugging for ten seconds or so, until Drew’s hand slips a bit lower to the curve of your ass; you push him away. It wasn’t a hard push; but a push nevertheless. “Getting too comfortable,” you say, but giving him a smile since all the cameras were pointed this way.

“Hand slipped,” is all he says, before wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

You furrow your eyebrows. “That hug was enough.”

“Wouldn’t it be weird if we stopped touching each other?” He says, his face close to yours, and his arm hangs comfortably around you. 

His breath hits your face, which you just reply, “your breath stinks.”

He purposely blows another breath in your face, and you flinch away in disgust. “I would slap you if it weren’t for all these cameras.”

You hear him laugh, and you just roll your eyes. You lean into him, holding his hand that’s over your shoulder. If you’ve got to play the part, might as well play it right. “When’s this show going to fucking start?”

“Why? You like Tyler the creator?”

“Who’s that?” Drew looks at you with widen eyes, the corner of his lips curled up. “What? Is he famous? Am I suppose to know who he is?”

“Yeah, we’re about to watch his show,” he giggles at you while talking, his shoulders shaking. You furrow your eyebrows at him, your grip on his hand tightening. You do not like his laugh. His smile. His smirk. The way his lips curl up. You do not like it. Especially when he’s laughing about you, or at you. 

Somehow, his smile grows when he sees your confused and hateful expression. 

“Stop laughing!” You frustratingly say, attempting to push him away. But he holds onto you tighter, pulling you closer to him. 

“Do you live under a rock?” He says, a teasing smile on his face. “Or are you too consumed with your own fame you forget others?”

“You wish you had this problem,” you reply, hoping that would get the smile off his face.

But it doesn’t. In fact, he ignores your comment. “Frank Ocean."

“Who?”

“Kali Uchis.”

“Stop.”

“Richard Jill.”

“I know him,” you lie, widening your eyes and nodding your head to act like you knew a bunch about this person. 

“Can you introduce me to him?”

“Well, he’s really busy.”

“With what?”

“Producing music, going on tours-“

He bursts into laughter, throwing his head back. 

What’s so funny now? 

“The fuck?” You curse, hitting his chest to get him to stop laughing. No one likes to be laughed at, and right now, he’s making you feel horrible. 

He laughs, and when his blue eyes stare into yours, there’s tears in them. You want to punch him so bad right now. “I fucking made him up, y/n.”

You push him away, and he actually stumbles a bit, still chuckling at you. Will he stop laughing already? People are staring, and that makes you even more embarrassed. The area is noisy, but you feel as if someone can overhear your dumb attempt to look smart. 

“You’re a fucking jackass,” you say a bit louder, which the crowd probably heard. 

“And you’re a fucking idiot,” he replies, his laughter dying but the smile still rests around his face. 

You want to leave. You don’t want to stay here anymore, you want a smoke. You want some beer that's actually drinkable. You turn towards the exit, ready to leave, but Drew pulls you back. He keeps one hand on your wrist as he starts to take off his jacket.

“Get your hand off me,” you say, while your eyes went down to his body. Woah, was he wearing such a tight shirt this entire time?

“Wear this. It’ll be great for the cameras.”

“Fuck no,” you say quickly. “You laugh at me, and now you want me to wear your shit?”

“It was a joke,” he says, taking the other sleeve off but not before switching hands to hold your wrist. Is he afraid you were gonna walk away while he’s taking off his jacket? “C’mon, just put this on.”

You stare at the jacket. Then you look back at him. No smile, no laughter, no curl at the corner of his lips. “Cunt,” you whisper to him, taking the jacket from him. You put it on, the sleeves sagging and the shoulders feel heavy, way too big. 

Smells like Drew. Again. 

“Right. I’m the cunt,” he says in a defeated tone. “But at least I know who exists and who doesn’t.”

You raise a hand to slap him, but he catches it and slips it into the pocket of his pants. “People watching,” he reminds you again, leaning closely to your ear. 

“Greater reason for me to slap you,” you reply, before pinching him real hard with the hand in his pocket. He groans, quickly taking your hand out and holding it. You resist, but he holds tightly onto it.

Suddenly, the screen starts, and it’s a video of a man in a van explaining stuff. 

“That’s Tyler the creator,” Drew tells you, pointing to the screen.

“I fucking know that, you dick,” you reply, eyes glued to the screen. 

"Do you?" He playfully whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

But then, calls for Drew are heard, causing the two of you to turn to the source. A group of friends at the front row, waving at Drew. You’ve never seen any of these people, but Drew seem to, because he walks over to them, and holding his hand, you’re forced to walk over as well. “What are you guys doing here?” He happily shouts, trying to be louder than the music. 

A short girl with messy curls smiles at Drew, “I should be asking you that! Why did you cancel on us if you were coming here as well?”

A man beside her says, “can’t you see? He’s on a date.”

The group looks at you, first eyeing your jacket, then at you and Drew holding hands. Then they stare directly into your face. “Shit, so this is real?” The short girl asks, a mocking smile on her face. 

You furrow your eyebrows at her. Weird.

“Yeah, um, Y/n, these are my friends,” Drew says, and he points at each of them. Firstly, he points at the short girl. “This is Odessa. This is Jay, this is-“

He tells you each of their names, but you get lost pretty quick, even though this was only a group of six people. They kept looking at you in awe (duh, you're an A-list actress) with warm smiles on their faces. Well, not all of them. The short girl, who’s name is Odessa, keeps her eyes on Drew the whole time, her hand going to touch Drew’s arm, even suggesting to watch the show together. 

Of course Drew says yes, telling security to let his friends through. You stay quiet; they were his friends, not yours. And you didn’t want them to get a piece of your mind, because who knows what you’ll say once opened your mouth. 

Drew seems to know what you’re thinking, because he whispers in your ear, “You’re not going to ask them to leave, are you?”

“I’m not that bitchy,” you shrug, eyes on the stage as Tyler the Creator is still in his cabin, on the big screen. “But you said my thoughts.”

“Aren’t you the nicest,” you hear the sarcasm in his voice, and he drops your hand, now wrapping his arm around your waist, under the jacket. His thumb rubs in circles on the bare skin, and you hate how it causes your goosebumps to rise. “Besides, my friends won’t judge you.”

“Judge me?” You turn to him, and when you do, you release how close he was. You glance at his lips, but quickly look back into his eyes, hoping he didn’t catch that. “What is there to judge about me?”

“You reek of alcohol,” Drew says, his tone teasing. 

“Everyone stinks here.”

“But you stink everywhere,” Drew shrugs, turning his focus back on screen. 

Then, Tyler the creator jumps out the screen, which shocks you. Your eyes widen, mouth open. The crowd goes crazy once the music starts. The music is good, and you bop your head lightly to it. Crazy how you’ve never heard of him or his music before. 

But you weren’t able to fully enjoy the show. 

Drew and his friends are talking, at a slightly loud volume. So, even if you didn’t want to, you can hear their conversations. His friends mostly asking how he’s doing, catching up about big events in each others’ lives, etc. 

You wanted them to shut the fuck up and silently watch the show. 

You looked over at Drew, trying to show him your discomfort, but all you see is sincerity on Drew. A smile on his lips, nodding while listening, and just…just talking about whatever with his friends. He makes funny faces, impressions, and jokes that makes them laugh. 

His friends seem to enjoy his company as well, listening to him talk and adding teasing comments in-between. Their bond seems deep, and sincere. 

You don’t have any friends; so you didn’t know how this felt like. To have someone to talk to, talk about whatever and talk whenever. 

You turn back to the stage, deciding to leave Drew and his friends alone. Your grip on his hand tightens though, but you’re sure he doesn’t realize it, too into the conversation between his friends. 

——

Early May 2024

The PR team obviously thought a relationship would solve you and Drew’s negative images, but it wasn’t enough. 

You were seen at a yacht, in Miami, right after the F1 grand prix. You weren’t careful enough, which lead to you being photographed with another A-list actor, touching, laughing, feeding each other food. It looked real couple-y. 

Not only that, but you were photographed sharing bottles of wine together. From anyone’s point of view, it was a date. 

Fans attacked all your social media platforms, urging you to explain yourself.

Well, your company addressed it. Saying that it was a casual hangout between friends and how the wine was just to 'pair along with the food'. 

While you were out drinking with another guy, Drew was at the Met Gala. And it happened to be the day after the photos were leaked. Poor Drew. But he handled it exceptionally well, steering away questions about the relationship. 

One thing for certain now, Drew was committed to this relationship, unlike you. You, who cooperates entirely based on your mood, and go around creating as much trouble as you possibly could. 

Maybe the public was right. Right for years. You are still just an immature kid, who still has white powder up her nose. 

-------------------------------

word count: 2.5k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: thx for reading this chapter! things are getting...interesting 🙃 and youll realise that i didnt write out the date on the yacht...(cause i got lazy) bc it would just be yn and drew bickering. and every chapter will be like this, months/weeks apart. anyways, thx for reading! and thx for liking not a big deal (did not expect it to blow up) and due to popular demand, part 3 is in the works!

[simp-ly-writes]

The Comment Section (pt.2)

─────── · · A Social Media AU Fic

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: Commenters are starting to get more and more worked up the longer you and Spencer grow apart.

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, angst, attempt at comedy, more angst, light swearing, fluff, mutual pinning.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART ONE | PART THREE | PART 3.5

─ · · A/N: thank you all seriously for the comments and support on the first part, hope you all enjoy this next one equally as much :)

─────── · ·

Super Smash Bros: Battle of the Chosen's

Smosh Games ✓ [Subscribed] Like 100k | Dislike | Share | ... 7.75M subscribers 1.1M views 2 weeks ago click to expand

4,683 Comments

username97 2 weeks ago Dear Diary, its day 14 and there are still no videos of Spencer and (name) together. username05 2 weeks ago Always love the Shayne and Spencer duo, but can they go back to their partners now? username39 6 days ago When's the next episode of Bored AF?? username22 6 days ago Okay, but why haven't I seen (name) in any gaming channel videos lately? I haven't watched in a while, can someone get me caught up? ▼ 12 replies ↳ username66 5 days ago So Spencer didn't exactly explain to (name) that FNAF was not the simulation-type game or party/table-top that they are used to playing but a horror-simulation. (name) got really scared and then super annoyed at him and they haven't been seen together in videos since then. ↳ username69 2 days ago They're overreacting, has to be doing this for views or attention. No other explanation. ↳ username66 1 day ago (edited) (name) is their own person with their own emotions and friendships. In the field they work it intermingles with life and the lives of so many others in ways that people like us will never get to experience correctly. They are entitled to their own feelings and if they think Spencer broke their trust somehow- they can act however they want however right or wrong that appears to others. ↳ username69 1 days ago Well maybe you both should just grow the eff up and shut the h*ll up. ↳ username01 1 day ago Maybe you should do the same username69? Can't even swear like a real fucking adult. username51 just now And so the Chosen Universe Lore expands... username81 just now first.

─────── · ·

Guess That Smosh Skit!

Smosh Games ✓ [Subscribed] Like 62k | Dislike | Share | ... 7.75M subscribers 477k views 2 weeks ago click to expand

2,199 Comments

⚲ Pinned by Creator SmoshGames ✓ 2 weeks ago Both new and old shows are coming soon, what are you hoping to see next? ▼ 765 replies ↳ username01 2 weeks ago Tell Spencer to buy (name) flowers, on theirs hands and knees begging, or write them a card- anything!!! ↳ username33 1 hour ago Spencer and (name) recreate famous ********** scenes. * [this comment has been censored for interfering with Youtube's Community Guidelines; for more information press HERE] ↳ username39 6 days ago BORED AF PLEASEEEEE. username20 1 hour ago Please, please, please bring Olivia back more, her small mutterings always have me rolling on the floor XD username24 3 hour ago I 100% forgot about the Every [Blank] Ever series! So good to see bits of it again! username55 2 weeks ago Anyone else keep rewatching old videos and fan-edits of (yourshipname)? I'm gonna keep acting like nothing ever happened like some other people...

─────── · ·

my favorite (name) and spencer moments :)

(Yourshipname) Updates [Subscribe] Like | Dislike | Share | ... 1.12K subscribers 217k views 3 years ago click to expand

999 Comments

⚲ Pinned by Creator (yourshipname)updates ✓ 2 weeks ago Thank you for all the support on this video recently! I wish it didn't have to come from this though... P-P username55 2 weeks ago Even before they both appeared on camera officially, there are so many background clips of them sitting together, sharing food and vacations in pictures, even pet-sitting?? Like c'mon, theres only so much a girl can take (╥﹏╥) username11 30 minutes ago This comment section is for our collective tears ಥ_ಥ username09 just now 19:45 My favorite clip ever of them, its so soft. Spencer with his eyes closed as (name) fixes their hair in the background of TNTL behind the screen. They're so effortless with one another... username03 1 week ago Lets make a thread! Post your favourite (yourshipname) moments underneath this comment! ▼ 173 replies ↳ username97 1 hour ago Spencer and (name) sharing a kickstart during DND sessions. Spencer and (name) sharing a kickstart during DND sessions. Spencer and (name) sharing a kickstart during DND sessions. Spencer and (name) sharing a kickstart during DND sessions. ↳ username66 2 days ago (name) being so excited over beating an Elden Ring Boss on stream that she runs and kisses Spencer on the cheek before brake dancing in the background while Spencer stares blankly at the camera, cheeks red and eyes wide. MWAHAHHAHA ↳ username04 just now Would have to be (name) dropping the burrito under the table and Spencer placing his hand above their head so they don't hurt themselves 𓏗ᵕ𓏗 ↳ username02 3 days ago 2022 Truck Simulator: Spencer, hand on their knee driving. It is my kryptonite. ↳ username15 1 hour ago (name) dancing with and twirling Spencer after Smosh the Sitcom. I want it as a GIF and framed. ↳ username11 4 days ago Has anyone mentioned their San Diego panel together? That whole hour is surreal, the head resting on shoulders, gripping one another in laughter, holding hands- speaking into the mic at the same time. OR HOW THEY WERE WALKING THE FLOOR TOGETHER IN MATCHING COSPLAY AFTER. ↳ username06 1 hour ago Darts and how they acted like one another. ↳ username32 30 minutes ago 27:49 Chosen Spencer pinning (name) to the wall during that interrogation bit changed my brain chemistry. ↳ username03 just now Wow, this is most responses I've ever received- thank you everyone!! ↳ username17 15 minutes ago 17:12 Them taking a power nap together at the same desk. username33 just now How have we entered a new era of how every "Where's Anthony?" is now a "Where's Spencer/(name)???"

─────── · ·

It's Awkward... (Who Meme'd It?)

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] Like 62k | Dislike | Share | ... 8.29M subscribers 565k views 1 week ago click to expand

5,199 Comments

username08 1 hour ago That meme coming from Ian was wild! ▼ 199 replies ↳ username87 30 minutes ago 16:16 Dog in Burning House: "Spencer when (name) doesn't want to play games with him - "this is fine, I am fine"" XDDD ↳ username02 20 minutes ago I would have never expected Ian to make that meme out of the list. ↳ username44 5 minutes ago IKR!? Like up against Alex, Courtney, and Trevor? No wonder no one picked him for it. ↳ username87 just now But we all are forgetting the best clip after: 17:12 Spencer proceeded to slip off his chair and hide underneath the table while Amanda was screaming defence and pointing fingers at the crowd. Has to be in the top 50 moments of all time. ↳ username44 just now YES! I love how the whole cast was AFTER THEM. They live for their relationship just like us. <3 username24 3 hour ago The editing team needs to be spotlighted more, BC all their memes were straight fire!!! username08 1 week ago You know when Shayne is hosting that its gonna be a good video ▼ 8 replies ↳ username97 5 days ago Doesn't Shayne already host most of the videos? ↳ username08 5 days ago That was the point- all the videos are good...

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: want a part 3 anyone? what do you want to see happen next?

[uncouth-the-fifth]

i'd like to report a crime - Leon Kennedy/Reader

read it on Ao3.

Pairing: Agent!Leon/Detective!Wife!Reader Tags: anxious work stress + leon comfort!!, leon being a fucking goober Notes: when i'm at work I'm always picturing him swooping in to save me...... leon kennedy if you can hear me please protect me from 9-5 hell... and like I said before, I would LOVE requests or prompts for this fic, I have so many ideas but I can't commit to any of them lol.

Standing in the bullpen at work today, you had a thought. Maybe they called it “medieval torture” because that was a whole lot catchier than “a shitty day at the busiest police precinct in Washington DC.”

It certainly felt like medieval torture to you. Before you’d even stepped into your big girl pants this morning, you knew that today was going to suck. Plain and simple. Suck. Yet another presidential event was bringing the Secret Service’s jurisdiction into your already hectic station, meaning that big square dudes in suits were going to be breathing down your neck until quitting time. You had three huge active cases that needed your attention. One of those cases came pre-packaged with a deeply annoying lawyer, who, in your professional opinion, has his head shoved a foot up his ass. He will absolutely be showing up to bother you today.

And worst of all: in your haste to get to work (Leon had put some serious effort into making you late), you’d accidentally worn a pair of super uncomfortable shoes! So now every waking moment of your existence was bonafide torture.

Clamping your jaw, you glance up from the paperwork in front of you and check your watch. Three o’clock. Right, okay, you can work with that.

You slap your hands down on your desk as you push out of your seat, and it gets a satisfying yelp out of the man sitting cross-legged beside it. He bristles up like a porcupine and nasally complains, “Where are you going, Detective Kennedy? You said we could—”

“Coffee, Douglas,” you bite back to said lawyer.

The last thing you want right now is some of the lousy, watered-down coffee from the station’s breakroom, but taking mini-breaks at your desk is just not an option anymore. Douglas has been camped out there from the moment you clocked in, and since you both refuse to budge, he’s going to stay there. Breakroom it is. You wince the whole way there, cursing your shoes from hell.

Someone forgot to start another pot of joe, so you have the absolute pleasure of doing it yourself. A small blessing in disguise, really. You give the glass pot your best thousand-yard-stare the whole time it heats the water, and just when the outline of it is starting to burn behind your eyelids, you’re jolted out of your glazed reverie by a cheerful, “Detective Kennedy!”

The officer appears at your side like she was there the entire time, and you wouldn’t put it past her—Giana is the latest in a long line of rookies who have imprinted on you over the years. Good kid, but a little on the overeager side.

She gives you a sympathetic frown and launches into way too much bubbly talking for your aching head to handle. “Heyo! Man, it’s crazy today, huh? You look beat, detective. Hey, think of it this way—just a few more hours and we’ll be home free! Any fun plans tonight?”

The question triggers a movie-style flashback sequence in your mind, complete with black-and-white visuals and some tasteful dream fog. Leon, your husband, boredly poking around the aisles of a new Target by your place. Leon discovering the boys' toy section. Leon, your beautiful, amazing husband, going starry-eyed at the massive NERF Elite Titan CS-50 Toy Blaster, which you’re pretty sure you need a license to operate.

He’d tapped the Nerf box like a boy on Christmas morning. “150 foam bullets, baby.”

But it would take a lot of energy to relay all of that to Giana. So instead of explaining that you’re having an epic Nerf duel with Leon when you get home (no headshots, loser makes dinner), you cooly answer: “...Spending time with my husband.”

Giana hums. “It’s so weird to me that you’re married…” (Thanks.) “I can’t even picture you not grinding away at some case.”

The coffee machine burbles out its last sad spit of coffee. You pour a good amount into your mug, smiling, “Oh, Leon’s just as bad. We’re both married to our work. He’s just my favorite mistress, s’all.”

Giana opens her mouth to launch into another cheery tirade you can’t catch up with. You like the girl, but on top of being way too eager, she’s also painfully see-through. For example, you don’t even have to turn around to know that a gloriously hot guy has just walked into the bullpen behind you. It’s written all over Giana’s owlish look over your shoulder. Hell, you can even clock that he’s heading straight this way—not only does Giana cross herself to bid away impure thoughts of the stranger, but she evaporates into smoke out of pure shyness.

“Look out!” She stage-whispers.

Aw. Poor girl, you think as she waddles away. Considering who’s going to be unloading a clip of foam bullets into you later this evening, (what a strange double entendre), you’re basically immune to hot guys. You can handle this.

“Excuse me, detective, I’d like to report a crime?”

All sense of professionalism poofs off your face at that familiar voice. You whirl to face your husband, and in one swift slash, the ten ton weight of your stress is slapped clean off your back.

Leon’s resting stare has slowly been absorbed by his Serious Agent Face. But today, he’s smoldering less in the business way and more in the off-duty model way. In a white tee, jeans, and racing-striped leather jacket, he certainly looks the part, clean-shaven and dewy-skinned. Fuck him and his unblemished skin. What Umbrella moisturizer was he using back in the day, dammit?

You’re capable of joking again and fall flawlessly into the bit. “Of course. What kind of crime, beautiful?”

He isn’t really able to look flustered, but you think you get close to the impossible with the way his head tilts at that line. You notice that he’s hiding something behind his back.

“A theft,” he answers. The tiniest smirk twitches on his mouth. “My heart’s been stolen.”

…What a fucking cornball. The tragic part is that you find the joke pretty funny, and not completely in the ironic way. He waits for you to giggle and twirl your hair or what-the-fuck-ever, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction, ducking into his quick hug to grin into his shoulder.

You groan at his awful joke. “Jesus. You need a fork for all that corn, Leon?”

“I take mine off the cob,” he drawls in your ear. With that voice, he could make anything sound suggestive.

You’re about to pout at him for failing to return your hug, when you draw back and see that his hands are full. It’s then that Leon presents his bounty to you, bowing his head and holding his trophies aloft like a knight giving respect to his princess: in one hand, one of the stupid expensive coffees you like, and in the other… your comfiest work flats.

“How?” is the first thing your fish brain manages to say. Because, truly, how does he always know? The coffee, the shoes— “Did you put a tracker in me? One that tells you everything I’ve been complaining about all day?”

You go slumping down into the nearest seat, mystified by him. Leon sets the still-steaming coffee down in front of you and kneels, stooping to help you out of your shoes-from-hell. The strap around your ankle has rubbed the bone raw even through your tights. He gets the clasp loose on the first shoe with little fussing, then soothes the skin with tender brushes of his thumb.

“Mhm,” he hums. All you can see of him from this angle is the layers of color in his hair, deep browns and ash blondes blending into one another. The smug pride in his voice is obvious—he loves knowing he’s read you well. “Tells me when you’re hungry, too. Have lunch with me?”

Please god, your body begs. Just picturing it loosens some of the tension in your neck. Like last time, the two of you would play-fight over where to eat, and your cute little delivery boy would go pick up the winner. That way, you wouldn’t have to waste a single moment of your allotted thirty-minute lunch. Leon would pull up a seat at your desk (maybe scare Douglas off with a flash of his badge), and you’d get a blissful, uninterrupted dose of him. Enough to get you through the rest of your shift.

He’d be too deep in Professional Agent Mode to babble like he does at home, but Leon’s raspy chuckles and his hand on your knee would tide you over til’ five.

…But no, the universe is never that kind to you. You wince at Leon’s offer and drop an apologetic hand to his shoulder, still knelt at your feet and working on your other shoe. He’s too good to you. “M’ sorry, baby, but I think I’m gonna have to work through lunch if I wanna get home on time. Rain check?”

He doesn’t mind. He throws a squinty warning stare your way, not happy that you’re getting dangerously close to overworking yourself, but he understands.

A sly smile creeps onto Leon’s face as he helps you slip on a flat. “I could talk to your Captain. What if you were pulled away for a ‘federal emergency?’”

“Then I think me and my Captain would implode from stress,” you laugh. “He’d think I’d been drawn into some national crisis or something.”

Leon scoffs. “That’s only happened, like, once.”

The other flat welcomes your poor, aching foot like a jacuzzi hot tub, and you take a deep magical sip of the overpriced coffee he got special for you. It trumps the watery breakroom joe any day.

For a minute you’re so stupidly happy that you could easily punch a boulder clean off a cliff. Hell, you might even twirl your hair.

“One too many times!” You groan. Since he’s being all cute and kneeling at your feet, you can’t resist poking him a couple of times to be silly. In the chest. In the cheek. In the heart. Stage-whispering, you accuse, “I think you just like having excuses to work with me.”

Leon finishes helping you into your shoes, but he’s in no hurry to leave his spot. One of his rough hands finds yours in your lap and toys with your wedding band, twisting it, testing the groove where it’s been sitting for a few years now. Those big blue eyes fix on your face. You’re married to the guy, but something about being the subject of all his naked attention makes you feel like shrieking into a damn pillow. He’s the best. Judging by that mean little smile on his face, he knows it’s true.

He gives your hand a little squeeze and points out, “I was your partner before anyone else. We never got our buddy cop beat—so yes, I will shove myself into your world since I can’t pull you into mine.”

You’re grateful he still thinks that way. Getting him to talk about Raccoon is harder than pulling teeth, but this—your partnership, whether that be as cops in an imaginary second life, or as husband and wife—never fails to pry him right open.

You’d been asked before if it was frustrating, how your paths had split after the city had blown. The two of you had come from the same spot and endured the same things, but where Leon had soared up, you’d kept to what you knew. No part of you envied him for it. In his mind, the two of you were still the same unit you’d been then, endlessly loyal to one another. You watched Leon’s back and—clearly, he watched yours.

“You’re my favorite,” you tell him, sweetly petting his chin. “I’m gonna fucking destroy you at our Nerf duel when I get home.”

All the buttery tenderness wipes from his face, and in an instant he’s on his feet, clapping a scarred hand down onto your shoulder and bending to whisper fiercely in your ear. “I’d like to see you try.”

He smushes a kiss to your cheek, waves a friendly, “See ya,” and melts back into the current of the rowdy bullpen. You hate to see him leave, but by god, you love to watch him go.

A few seconds after Leon says his goodbye, Giana, your rookie, peers around the open door of the break room. Her patchy blush goes all the way down to her uniform collar. “...Nevermind. I can definitely picture you married, Detective Kennedy…”

-

Ask to be added to my Leon taglist!

[just-some-random-blogger]

Maniac

Ex!Aemond Targaryen x Reader + Rebound!Daemon Targaryen x Reader

Summary: Not everyone can take the pressure of being involved with a Targaryen. Beyond the heat the media give the powerful family, there was the heat of those in power within the house that stood between everything. This is what lead to Aemond letting you go and Daemon swiping you up.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: modern au, fem!reader, mention/depiction of sex, old money!targaryren, smoking, drinking, eternally smug!daemon, eternally annoyed!aemond, typos, etc.

A/N: this is a poll decided pairing (: . idk i thought of this plot while vibing to maniac by conan gray Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony @risefallrise @slavyanskiyahui @lxdyred

"Hey puppy," I coo as I jog up to the door and cup Aemond's face. I pepper him with kisses before wrapping my arms around him, "how was work?" He looks at me, grabs my wrists, pulls my arms away, and speaks my name. I raise a brow, "Aemond?" "I'm breaking up with you."

The bass in the venue thumps in my ribcage. I hop around with the sea of people to the beat of some obscure EDM song. I throw my head back and cheer. I sway my hips after downing the contents of my cup.

I nearly gag as I burp. I wipe my lips as I still for a moment to get my bearings.

Fuck. If he knew, Aemond would be so-

I growl when I catch myself in the middle of that thought. I mess my already messed hair up and crush my plastic cup.

No, no. Fuck Aemond.

I shirk when the bodies around me begin to get too close for comfort. Time to get out of here.

I weave through the crowd, glad the sequins of my fitted red dress wasn't getting snagged into anyone's clothing. As I squeeze through a group of girls, I catch a face from the corner of my eye. His burning blonde hair looked pink under the lights; still, he was unmistakable, and it seemed so was I, judging by how he raises his glass to me after we lock eyes.

I look away. How dare he act so familiar?

I turn back to him. He beckons me over with a head tilt.

I scoff. Fuck you. How dare you tell me what to do after all the shit you put me though?

I take a split second to debate whether or not I want to deal with him tonight. It's probably going to be horrible if I do, and yet, my feet are taking me straight into the eye of the storm.

That was, until the bouncer in the VIP section blocks me.

I look up at him and blink, "hi."

"No sneaking in, love," he mutters.

"Let her through, Sandor," a voice calls, making the said man look over his shoulder and turn back to me. He steps away and unhinges the stanchion, motioning with his head.

I walk through, smile, and nod, "thank you, Sandor."

Sandor ignores me and goes back to his post.

"Hello, baby girl," the blonde says from the bar he's leaned on.

I sit down on the stool next to him and grimace, "hello, bastard."

He shifts on his elbow, "I'll have you know Rhaenyra's children have been legitimized following her marriage to Strong."

I pretend to hum in intrigue as I place my crushed cup next to his martini glass.

"But of course, you wouldn't know that because you were too sick to attend the wedding," he tilts his head, "or so Aemond says."

I shrug, "Aemond and I broke up."

"A mutual break up?" he quirks his brows, "I doubt that. What'd he do?"

I narrow my eyes at him, "what do you mean?"

"Oh come on," he waves a hand, "you wouldn't let me touch that kid with a 6 foot pole. What? Did he fuck your sister? Think it was you?"

I cringe, "that's something more on brand for you, Daemon."

"I'll have you know, I have perfect eyesight," he takes his glass, "my nephew however..."

I glare at him.

Daemon sniggers before he sips his drink, "see. Even now you're on his side."

I lick my lips in annoyance, "I'm not on his side."

"Worry not, darling," he turns and motions to the bartender, "the wraith is awfully attached to you." The bartender walks over. "You'll at least see him grovel and beg for you-- a cosmo," he turns to me, "right?"

I clench my jaw then shrug.

Daemon turns back to the bartender and nods. The bartender mutters 'you got it' before walking off.

"He broke up with me."

Daemon takes his glass but sets it down before he even takes a sip.

I look at him and feel irritation rise up my throat. I cough it out with a- "is that really so hard to imagine?"

He tilts his head, "I'm confused. You want me to think this makes sense?"

"I want you to remember how you laughed when Aemond's dad called me a bootlicking bimbo-"

Daemon chortles immediately.

"- and how you always remarked on the dresses I wore whenever I was around. Aemond's grandpa ended up giving me shit for it!"

"Woah," Daemon wheezes, "okay. Otto is a true cunt, to you especially, but can you blame me? You truly are distracting in those dresses, darling." He motions to my body.

I jump off my seat and shove his shoulder, "fuck you, Daemon. He called me a harlot when he thought I wasn't looking."

The next second, I'm walking away fuming, but the sniggering moron stands and grabs my arm, "look. It's funny because it's stupid."

I whip my head back and yank my arm away, "fuck you!"

"Why are you so bothered by what Viserys and that old fuck think anyway?" he gives a lopsided smile that didn't reach his eyes, "it's not-"

"Why would I care about what my boyfriend's father and grandfather think of me?!"

"Ex," Daemon shakes his head and rolls his eyes, "and you and I both know it's not true."

"It's true to them," I point to nowhere as I feel my eyes water at the memory.

"It's really not," he mutters, digging his hand in the inner pocket of his coat, " 's just some shit they said cos they're pissed."

I turn away from him and tilt my head back, fanning my face as I refused to shed a tear, especially in front of him.

Daemon watches and places a cigarette between his lips, "I know big brother didn't like the fact he couldn't find a reason to hate you."

I clench my jaw as I glare at Daemon.

He pulls out a lighter and opens it. The stick in the corner of his mouth wiggles as he speaks, "he had plans to match Aemond with a Baratheon girl."

A line forms between my brows.

He lights his stick and takes a deep swig of nicotine. Smoke comes out of his nose and mouth, making my face contort further. Daemon then swipes his thumb on the crinkle on my forehead, "trust me, Baratheons are boorish."

I feel my lips quiver.

Aemond told me not to worry about her.

I feel like my insides were being ripped out.

Don't you do it. Don't you dare fucking cry over-

"Baby girl-"

"Don't you fucking call me that, asshole," I hiss as saltwater begins to pour from my eyes.

Daemon feels immensely uncomfortable, "want a puff?"

I begin to feel my eyes burn because of my makeup.

I have to get out of here.

He sighs and rubs the tears off my skin before turning to the bar where the Cosmo was just placed. "If you're gonna cry over Targaryen," he mutters as he pulls out his wallet and settles his bill. He turns back to me, handing me he drink.

I do not get it from him and he sighs again as he places it down. I cringe at the smell of his smoke. He continues, "wouldn't it be better if it was because of my dick?"

My face contorts.

He draws in another deep breath and pulls the stick out of his mouth using two fingers.

"Fuck you, Daemon," I growl before turning away.

"My place then?" he follows after.

Daemon follows me outside.

I am booking a ride home on my phone

"Oh, don't be boring," he snatches the object and places it over his head.

"Daemon!"

"Don't worry," he looks up and cancels my order, "I already called one."

"Give it back!"

"Oh, come on, you want to wallow in your self-pity or have it fucked out of you?" he offers, "besides, the car will be here in five."

My eye twitches, "how is that even possible?!"

"Shortcuts, babes," he mutters as he bites his cigarette and adjusts it in his lips. He tilts his head, "you make a shortcut for a ride, put it on your homescreen, give it a push-- gods, maybe you are a bimbo."

I grunt and snatch his cigarette and put it out on his chest. He yelps and pulls back as it surely burned through his shirt.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I fake-pout, "I thought you were done with that."

Daemon glares at me as he brushes his shirt off, "oh, you want to mark me, do you, little girl?"

"I don't want-" the words retreat into my mouth when he marches over and I find myself pushed against the streetlight. His arms are on my sides, hands gripping the pole behind me.

"Don't want what?" Daemon leans in, close enough that I can smell the cigarette smoke and the cologne on him. It was an overpowering smell.

I feel my body warm as he laughs at my silence.

"You know, I always knew you'd burn Aemond's fingers. I just didn't know he'd pussy out and let go if you got too hot."

Daemon looks past me and leans back, taking my hand as a car pulls up, "I happen to bask in dragon fire."

"How original."

I let him drag me back to his place. I let him get under my skin, into me. The night was filled with spiteful remarks, mocking laughs, and rough kisses, but it was also surprisingly filled with whispered praises, reassuring touches, and unbroken promises of pleasure.

It was no competition though, and in the first place, I should not have been comparing one or the other. It was an unfortunate reflex as of late. And it was easy for my mind to think him when his uncle's hair fell on his face almost the same way his did.

Gods they even said the same shit, it was fucking with my head.

I ended up saying Aemond instead of Daemon at one point, and spent what felt like hours being punished for the mistake.

It was clear, twice that after it was rectified by Daemon, he wasn't Aemond. He was nothing like him. Daemon was a good fuck but we didn't do it in his bedroom. He didn't want to hold me after, nor did he make an effort to clean me (or himself) up. He called me good girl but didn't say I love you, for obvious reasons. He made my flesh sting but made no efforts to soothe. And when he marked my skin and called me his, I didn't feel like I belonged, I felt like I was owned.

He did leave me tired in his guestroom before getting up to sleep in his own bed. But I was not tired enough to resist the itch of getting on the internet the moment I woke up. I felt like I was on autopilot as my fingers moved.

I had to hold back a sound when I saw Floris Baratheon's post of her in the Targaryen estate's garden. I shudder at the caption. Luncheon date my ass.

Oh gods.

I could feel tears building up as I opened a browser and looked up Targaryen and Baratheon.

Relationship?

My heart was pounding. I sit up and push the sheets off me while I scroll through article after article.

"Oh, good," the door creaks, "you're up. Are you the one that's allergic to nuts or was that someone else entirely?"

I look up at Daemon as he peeks through the door of his guest room. His hair is damp, signifying a fresh shower. He walks in when I full on break into a sob. He curses then blurts, "does something hurt? Do you need something?"

"Aemond is with Floris?"

He stops in his tracks, "what?"

I drop my phone and retreat under the covers, "he told me he never even spoke to her, and now they're together?"

Daemon purses his lips then sucks in a breath, propping his hands right above the band of his red boxers, "right," he rubs his bare belly, "you want breakfast or not? Should I use almond milk? It's the only thing I got."

"FUCK YOU!" I growl and chuck a pillow at him.

The pillow misses Daemon by a mile and he stares at it as it flies off to the side. He turns back to me then wipes his nose, "fine. I'm putting the almond milk," he walks off, raising a finger, "also, I have work in an hour. If you stay, know your dress is on the couch. My cleaning lady might do something with it though."

Daemon's bare feet tingle against the cold tiles of the penthouse. He sniffles and turns on the fireplace with a remote before heading back to the kitchen.

One of the few things he could actually cook was oatmeal, and he was pretty good at it, if he did say so himself.

He furrows his brows when he hears the telltale button sounds of the front door. He turns to the digital clock on the wall and wonders if the cleaning lady was coming in early today.

Daemon is pulling out some fruit from the fridge when he hears a rather unwelcomed voice call out to him, "good morning, Uncle." Or should he say welcomed?

He looks at the him, unable to hold back his smirk, and sets down the things on the counter, "fancy a bowl of oats, Aemond?"

"Father instructed me to get the Harrenhal files from you."

Daemon chews on a raspberry as he mixes the pot of oats, "that's the longest no I've ever heard."

Aemond watches Daemon grab two bowls. He shakes his head, "I've already eaten."

" 'S not for you, darlin'," he retorts as he turns the stove off and pour the content.

In that moment, Aemond looks around and spots a glimmering dress on the couch. He involuntarily thinks it looks familiar but thinks little of it as he turns back to Daemon, "I didn't realize you had company."

Daemon snorts, "she's a feisty one. You'd know about that, right?"

Aemond does not react as his uncle grins.

He points to his chest, "burnt me with my own cigarette," he smirks, but it doesn't last. "Also, tell your old man if he asks the cleaning lady for my passcode again, I'm breaking his teeth."

"I'm just here for the Harrenhal files."

Daemon eyes Aemond before pouring the food into the bowl, "why? I'm coming to the meeting with it in an hour."

The latter tilts his head, "father mentioned you got into an argument and thought you might not show."

"So," the former puts the pot down with much more force than necessary, "he had his son break into my house?"

"I was going to wake you if you were asleep."

"And if I wasn't here?" Daemon leans on the counter.

Aemond shrugs, "I'd look for it myself."

Daemon is about to burst into a fit of High Valyrian curses up until his name is called out. Him and Aemond turn to the side.

"I showered in your bathroom and now I'm stealing your shit!" I call out as I rub my hair with a towel I found in his guestroom.

I look at my puffy eyes and purple neck marks in the mirror in his bedroom and hear Daemon call out, "what shit?!"

I go through his closet and grab a the first shirt I spot, "your watch!"

I vaguely hear him chuckle, "I don't have watches in my bedroom-

"Pity," I mutter under my breath.

"- but feel free to get whatever clothing you want!"

A generous statement, Aemond thinks. He used to watch his uncle bring back different women all the time when he still lived at the estate with them. He never once was like this though. He watches Daemon as he chuckles. He finds it immensely bizarre that his uncle seems so giddy. He's beckoned by him again, "sure you don't want a bowl, wraith?"

Aemond grumbles at the nickname, he always hated it, and merely clenches his jaw.

He shrugs, "suit yourself."

"Will you give me the files or not, Daemon?"

Daemon looks at him before grabbing two spoons from the drawer, "fine. Want them so bad? I'll give them to you."

"Thank you," he mutters in relief.

"Why don't you take a seat, scarecrow," Daemon adds, "you're going to spook the girl."

Aemond rolls his eyes as he moves over to the living space. He sits on the one sofa chair and eyes the red dress across him for a moment. He then looks out the window before pulling out his phone.

Daemon watches his nephew walk off. He holds back a laugh as he turns back to the oatmeal. He practically combusts with excitement when he hears shuffling from the left.

He looks up at me as I walk over to him.

"Morning, baby girl," Daemon coos and crosses his arms, "my stolen shirt suits you."

Aemond clears his throat involuntarily upon hearing this. He couldn't have whispered? He fishes for his earpods in his pocket and curses himself for not bringing it.

My eyes take in how Daemon's chest bulged. He takes in my puffy eyes as I retort, "want it back? You look cold."

Aemond finds himself eyeing the dress again after hearing that. Why does her voice sound like that?

Daemon lips quirk. He grabs the shirt I was wearing and pulls me toward him. I collide with his chest and his hand slips under the fabric, "naughty girl. You'd offer such a thing when you're not even wearing underwear?"

This is definitely not something Aemond signed up for.

I raise a brow at Daemon, "when did you become such a prude?"

He chuckles and places a hand on my shoulder. His thumb rubs the marks he left on my neck, "you want me to fuck you the counter?"

Right. Aemond stands from the couch and turns to Daemon, "just tell me where the file is and I'll get it myself."

I jolt and grab at Daemon upon hearing that.

Daemon breaks into a laugh.

I whisper-yell, "there's someone here?!"

Daemon pushes my hair back as he hears the sound of footsteps approaching. He looks over his shoulder, "actually, now that I think about it, I think the Harrenhal files are in the file cabinet in my office."

Aemond's fury blazes then dissipates in an instant. He is frozen in his spot when he locks eyes with me.

My body has a rather instant reaction to him. My mouth watered as though I was about to vomit. My hold on Daemon is released.

Aemond's mind was racing as he eyes my appearance. His throat constricts, eye almost flinching as he notices my pert nipples and the dark hues across my neck.

Daemon is the only one not petrified. He rubs my side before pulling away to get his bowl of oats. He eats a spoonful before muttering to Aemond, "it's in the bottom drawer, methinks."

Aemond completely ignores this, eyes fixed on me, "what the fuck are you doing here?"

Daemon raises a brow, "don't think that's any of your business."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I rebut.

Aemond scoffs, "what am I doing in my uncle's home?"

I scoff too, "it's not like you two were ever close, Aemond."

Daemon looks between us as he eats, "this is really good."

"So what?!" Aemond barks, "you're fucking him to get back at me?! A rather pitiful play on revenge, don't you think?"

The ferocity of his tone stabs through my chest. He was never one to raise his voice, and hearing his voice was already painful as it is. I am glad I have the wits to snark back, "why would I need to get back at you? You've been nothing to me for the past two months. I'm doing this because I want to."

Daemon licks his lips as he unabashedly chuckles.

Aemond clenches his fists.

I begin to heave heavily.

The longest of moments pass.

Daemon catches the way I begin to falter. He pushes the other bowl of oatmeal towards me, "eat before it gets cold."

I turn to Daemon after grabbing the bowl. I immediately stuff my mouth. I meant to give a really exaggerated reaction, but I find myself momentarily distracted by how genuinely good the oatmeal tasted. I mumble, "... this is really good."

Daemon smiles, "it is, isn't it?"

I tense when Aemond calls out my name.

Daemon's smile disappears as he turns to his nephew.

"Let's talk about it outside," Aemond mutters.

Daemon scoffs, "if she wanted to talk to you outside, she'd have said so by now, don't you think?"

"This has nothing to do with you, Daemon," Aemond rebuts.

I flinch when Daemon drops his bowl carelessly on the counter and straightens up, "this has everything to do with me. She went home with me; she's in my house, wearing my shirt, being demanded things by my stupid nephew, who, by the way, is now leaving."

"She's my ex-girlfriend," Aemond's neck strains. He steps forward.

"Yes, she was your girlfriend and now she wants nothing to do with you-- get out!"

The decay of Daemon's loud voice merely intensifies the tension in the room. I cannot express the relief I felt at the sound of withdrawing footsteps. I let out a sigh when I hear the door bang shut and bury my face in my hands.

Daemon shifts in his place and looks down at me, "pretty satisfying, no?"

"WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME AEMOND WAS HERE?!" I explode and attack him with punches.

[harrywavycurly]

At First Sight Part 3: He’s What?

Masterlist: Here

CW: Language

Tag List: @ali-r3n @blckburd @comeonatmebruh @sweetmoonlove0214 @heydreamchild @mrsjellymunson @marshmallowgem @sofaritsalrightt @josephquinnsfreckles

A/N: Poor Robin being brought into all this and poor Eddie for not knowing what to do with himself, enjoy the madness and don’t worry you’ll ACTUALLY be in the next part😂💖

“He’s what?” “In love with her.” “I’m not just in love with her Harrington…it’s…way fucking more than that man…it’s like she’s all I can think about until I get to see her again and…and the idea of her being alone right now instead of being safe with me just kills me I need-” “you need to take a few deep breaths and just relax for a moment Munson.” “So…he’s…in love with her? And you wanna know if I know her? Why didn’t you just ask Dustin to talk to her?” “Because he has a big fucking mouth and will just blab that Eddie’s in love and that’ll freak her out.” “Right Steve because her seeing him all heart eyes and mouth open literally drooling at the idea of her won’t freak her out?…you’ve lost your damn mind.” “Do you know her or not Buckley? I don’t have time for this…it’s already been two days since I saw her and that’s about all I can do before I take things into my own hands and go knock-” “you’re not knocking on anyone’s door! We’ve been over this a hundred times!” “Yes…I know her and…yeah I can reach out and see if she has any idea who the hell you are and if…she’d be interested in you having her phone number.” “You know her? Like you’re friends with her?” “Yes Eddie I’m friends with-” “what’s she like? Does she like flowers? Is she allergic to anything? You think she’ll like my hair? I can cut it if she wants I don’t care oh oh do you think-” “you have got to get him away from me Steve or I’m going to gag him with a bag of Swedish fish.” “Now you see what I’ve been dealing with…I made him stay with me because I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t go over to her house and embarrass himself.” “Nothing to do with telling the love of my life how I feel is embarrassing…grow up.” “What did Dustin say? Did he mention if seeing her will make him…not so…crazy?” “He said if she feels the same they’ll both have like a moment and then their personalities should go back to normal but they’ll just be….disgustingly in love.” “And if she doesn’t feel the same?” “Why would you say that? Do you know something? Did she mention me?” “Calm down Munson.” “Don’t tell me to calm down Harrington! I’m in fucking love and you’re both being assholes about it!” “Jesus let me just talk to her and get this over with just…go walk around the store while I see what I can do.” “But not by the door…I don’t want you getting any ideas about leaving without any supervision.” “Yeah yeah whatever I’ll be in the horror section…oh shit.” “What?” “What if she doesn’t like scary movies? I’m gonna have to watch…romcoms…” “Oh my god you’re so annoying.” “I’m gonna go in the back and text her…” “oh so you’re just gonna leave me alone with him? Nice Buckley real nice.” “Later losers…I’ll either be back with good news or….I won’t be back at all.”

[ditizygirl]

Editblr is a breeding ground for idolatry, ableism, racism and so much more all for a community about putting images together.

I've been here for only a year but I feel like I've seen it all, and the excuses oh my god the excuses. You are all 15-19, you should not have the mental capacity of a 8 year old. Your common sense is non existent and almost all of you guys are so fucking stupid it's pissing me off more than any god can understand. You are old enough to have logical thinking skills, you may have a disorder and it may be a reason but not an excuse.

Alot of you have forgotten the saying "Think Before You Talk" and I've sure as hell done alot of thinking. This is my deep dive into editblr.

Ableism

Typing quirks are a way of personal expression but why do so much of you hate to add plain text. I can understand to extent because plain text hates my head because of how long it can be but I'm not gonna act like a little bitch about it. I'm gonna add my typing quirk or even fonts itself to it.

I'm gonna ask someone to help me, or to do it for me. Stopping making excuses for ableism. Alongside with the typing quirks, your psds are ugly and eyestrainy. Psds also fall under racism because I have no idea why you guys are ignoring the fact some make dark skin characters lighter but in the case of ableism most of them are really bright and makes it hard to see.

Orange and brown? Green and yellow? Blue and brown? Why are you putting colours that can be so much eyesore together? And won't even tag as eyestrain and when someone does ask you only do it for one post.

Romanticization

This one is weird as fuck and I see no one mentioning it. Editblr highkey has a ddlg problem, this "little girl" aesthetic you guys have going on borderlines ddlg alot and its icky. The baby talk typing quirk is disgusting, stop it.

I'm not one to judge how someone copes with their trauma but what I DO judge is how you act when majority says its uncomfortable. Now this section I'm a bit unsure how to phrase it, gotta love dyslexia, but that isn't going to stop me.

There's alot of very uncomfortable romanticization of stalking which I've seen so much of alongside abusive relationships and the justification of these things.

Racism

Really can't escape this one unfortunately. Many of you are like kpop idols, you're too dyslexic towards the difference between appropriation and appreciation. Incase you forgot let me remind you.

You can not gift japanese names. Gifting names is a native practice therefore you can only gift native names. Also I've noticed you weirdos befriending people just to use their cultural names. I can't even say it east asian fetishization because its only Japanese.

Also for the love of God can you guys stop saying nonmem and non women especially when referring to sexualities. It's not hard to simply say "queer attraction to women" and "queer attraction to men".

Coming back to the "gifting" names thing, I think it's interesting how all of you conveniently have a Japanese friend who "gifted" you the name of a cute pink anime girl. Maybe I'll do a post later on how much of a bad liar you guys are.

Closed symbols is also another big problem you all have. No matter how much times you're told you can't use something you always cry "but my friend from xyz culture said it was ok!" One person can't speak for a whole culture. You're nothing but a coloinzer in disguise hiding behind the idea of aesthetic. If you want to know if a symbol is closed just use this site.

Goddess Personas

Yea this one is getting a whole section of its own. Like any people I am uncomfortable with goddess personas, especially being someone with biblical sources. Now the idea that a teenager on the internet is making people call them a goddess is strange isn't it?

In my opinion, they're all annoying, copy and paste, and I think not a lot of people talk about how the really bad ones get. You all love to indulge them, make them think they have power over them. You put them on a pedestal and praise them and get surprised when it all goes to their head?

Stop giving 14 years old power, stop indulging in their habits and letting it go their head. Forcing people to refer to you as their goddess? Their Lord and saviour? Their idol? Someone they must listen to? It creates a power inbalance which always leads to the weirdest of manipulation. Also all the engagekiss copiers are so obvious why would you want to copy the identity of a groomer? It says alot of about yourself if that's what you think is ideal.

Callout Posts

Now, personally, I believe that the only reason a callout post happens is because someone was affected, does it not? Very rarely would a callout post would be a fake one, especially if someone has more then one. If you defend someone who has more than one call out post that's on you and you're gonna end up making one some day I can genuine you that. People don't make them for no reason.

This is all I have to say for now. I hope you guys really consider what I have written here, or not, considering the fact you guys have shown multiple times you lack reading comprehension

@starriesse @dollicous @doveinne @firstgf @kiochisato @lamboll @cherryshh @narcbf @lavendergalactic @npditary @sprinkleoverdose @necroangelz @eskeys

[sonicblueartist]

HERE YOU GUYS CAN HAVE THIS 200 FOLLOWERS SPECIAL LIKE I PROMISED! It’s too short for my liking but yeahhh… And I may not have finished the ending. I leave it to you my dear readers how it ends~

A/N: You can think of this as an AU, not from the series.

Pairs: (I never mentioned much but you can think this story as) Bullfrog x Reader x Ramon

1K words

I’m not giving you guys any summery but warnings instead to make it a bit more mysterious here: Huge angst, blood, dead bodies, death, description of dying, etc.

Taglist: @blorbostation @eateableworm

Btw does anyone want to be in the tag list?

You had cleared out everyone in this section of the secret unit, a small mistake had gotten you noticed, there was nothing else to do, thankfully you both were successful nevertheless. “I guess we can finally move on, huh?” You panted and sighed in relief. Ramon nodded in agreement, "Let's go get the documents and get the fuck out of here." You laughed tiredly at this, “Yes, I'm dying to get home. This job was one of a hell, the most tiring and annoying thing I've ever participated in. I wonder what Bullfrog is doing on his side?” Your eyes spotted a movement among the bloody bodies, a wounded guard raising his gun and aiming at Ramon about to shoot, your eyes widened in fear, he was supposed to be dead.

You gasped, “Ramon watch out!” Realizing the danger, you acted without thinking and pushed Ramon out of the man’s sight. A huge bullet explosion echoed through the building, you couldn’t make a sound or had any control over your weak limbs, your eyes blurred in pain, it all followed by the sound of your name being shouted and more bullets. You found yourself on the ground, all you knew was that it hurt so much and that you were having trouble breathing. When Ramon turned you towards him you saw the pain in his face. You choked, “R-Ramon—“ you could taste the blood in your mouth.

“It’s okay, It’s okay, I got you. Y-You’ll be fine!” That was a big lie, you could see it in his teary eyes. He saw the hole on your back, the bullet pierced through your back, reached to your lungs and then came out from your chest. He used pressure on your chest and kept repeating the same things, “You’ll be okay. I promise.” Your breathing was quick and sharp, your chest hurted a lot, you weren't able to get enough air into your system. “Ramon—“ You gasped, “I-I don’t want to die.” You choked out, your tears streaming down from your cheeks as you gripped his hand in your panic. Ramon shook his head quickly, “I won’t let you die I promise!” You both knew there wasn’t a way out for you this time. Even knowing this he continues lying for you and you continue believing in him. Your breathing become shallow and it was more and more difficult for you to properly have fresh air, you were suffocating. And when you come to the point of barely breathing, you squeezed his hand with the last strength you had. “Ramon I—“ He stared at you, waiting for a continue, wanting to hear what you need to say but you said nothing else, he saw the last breath leaving your lips, saw the lively glint in your eyes vanishing, felt your hand going limp, you laid motionless on the ground, your blood covering the grounds, your blood on his hands, the metallic smell all around him. He wanted to protest, yell, make chaos out of this unfair station but… he only sat there and stared at his hands, silent tears leaving him.

Bullfrog spun around, restless. He was getting more worried that they were not showing up. This shouldn’t have taken this much of their time… right? He halted to a stop. His lips curving into a smile when he spotted Ramon. He sprinted at him but slowly came down to a stop, his smile quickly vanishing. His eyes quickly searched around, he turned and looked… but there was no trace of you anywhere.

He holds himself back, his hands clenching. He cleared his throat to inform Ramon that he was there. Ramon only stopped, didn’t lift his head, didn’t look at him, didn’t even give him a little glance. This made him panic even more. He tried to calm his restless mind as he opened his mouth, “Ramon… Where…?” He stopped himself when Ramon finally looked at him, he felt something died in his chest when he saw his expression. A choked sob escaped his throat, his hands shaking. He somehow knew it even before he showed up, he was praying to everything that this is just him being just worried.

“Ramon…” He started again, “Where are they?” He whispered, this time trying to be a bit more brave. Ramon shakily stepped back and glanced at where he came from. He didn’t even pick up the documents. It didn’t meant anything anymore. He just left… after killing everyone in it.

Bullfrog glanced at where he was looking at but they were too far away to even see the facility, but he knew what that meant, his eyes widened and without a second thought, he was gone, sprinting towards the same direction he come from. Ramon clenched his hands, looking after him. He didn’t want to go back but he couldn't bear the thought of losing someone again, so he quickly went after him. Nothing left from that place but ruins.

Bullfrog grunted in tears as he lifted a heavy stone and threw it aside, and frantically continued digging through the concrete pieces, his hands bleeding from all that excavation. Ramon didn’t look nor dared to help him out in his desperation. He already knew what was under it. But he was also confused about something, it's been hours since...

“Merde.” He hissed and grabbed the last big piece, using one last force, he lifted it up with a frustrated yell and threw it aside. He found… nothing. Once again, his attems and efforts come out empty. Where are you?

He dropped down on his knees, defeated and exhausted. He didn’t even know if he wanted to see your wrecked self under all the concrete. But he did wish to find you and at least bring you to a place where you could rest in peace. “No… Non, s'il vous plaît, non. Pourquoi ça devait être toi? Tu avais beaucoup à vivre. Nous avions beaucoup de choses à partager. S'il vous plaît, n'y allez pas ! Ne nous quitte pas. S'il vous plaît, ne le faites pas…” He rambled to himself as he slammed his hand on the ground, causing the wound to become even worse but he didn’t care. His shoulders shook as he sobbed silently.

“Where are you?” Ramon mumbled. He wasn’t sure anymore. The only thing he thought was certain was your death.

[fkinkindagauche]

Hot Knife

Posting just a snippet here of a one-shot I wrote while work was super slow the past few days and I had this song stuck in my head non-stop (Hot Knife by Fiona Apple). It's omegaverse, which I know is not everyone's cup of tea, so you have been warned! Full tags on AO3.

Read the full fic on AO3

Rating: Explicit | Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, mentions of Chrissy Cunningham/Robin Buckley | Tags: AU No Upside Down, AU Omegaverse, AU College, AU Modern Setting, full tags on AO3

I'm a hot knife, I'm a hot knife

I'm a hot knife, he's a pat of butter

If I get a chance, I'm gonna show him that

He's never gonna need another, never need another

“Him,” Steve said confidently, nodding across the dining hall at a gangly man with a mess of long brown hair who looked like he'd just walked out of a Mötley Crüe show.

“ Eddie Munson ?” Robin asked, nearly spitting out the mouthful of soda she'd just taken.

“Is that his name?” Steve asked, watching as the man - Eddie - nearly tripped over his own feet walking to a table.

“He's not exactly your type, Steve,” Robin replied. 

“I smelled him in the elevator. He's my type.”

“Okay, but he's, like, a huge fucking nerd. He's a music major. He plays Dungeons and Dragons. And he's in a heavy metal band.” She just kept listing things, like it was going to do anything to change Steve's mind.

He waved a hand at her dismissively. “Don't care,” he said, still watching. Eddie was talking to the other people at his table now, gesturing vigorously with his hands then throwing his head back and laughing loud enough that Steve could hear it across the dining hall.

“If you start something with Munson your swim team friends are finally gonna actually disown you,” Robin said. “You being friends with me was bad enough.” 

“Yeah, I think I’m at the point where I’m okay with that. They’re boring.” He had spent his sophomore year becoming increasingly annoyed with his teammates, who seemed to want to stay mired in the same types of people and pastimes they’d experienced in high school. He had enjoyed it during his first year, it had been nice to have continuity and had made the transition to college less jarring, but now he found he was looking for something more , and they all wanted to stay the same. 

He had met Robin in one of his classes, a geeky girl who had no interest in sports beyond what she observed from her section in the marching band, but she constantly made him laugh, and she was an omega, his first real omega friend. He had always been the only omega on the swim team, a bit of a freak of an omega given his large size and muscle mass. The other guys on the team had a tendency to completely forget about his designation, given the scent patches he wore all the time.

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” Steve announced, pushing his chair back. 

Robin shrugged. “Your funeral,” she said, and Steve rolled his eyes. He knew he was a very attractive and charismatic man, Eddie would probably be excited to be approached by him. 

Steve walked over to the table, Eddie still deep in conversation with his friends as he approached, not even looking up at Steve. A couple of his friends glanced up with confused looks on their faces, but Eddie just continued holding court. 

Steve sat in an empty seat directly across from Eddie, who finally acknowledged his existence. “What do you want, jock boy?” Eddie asked, derision evident in his tone. “I don’t sell to athletes, that’s a surefire way to get expelled while you just get a slap on the wrist.” 

Oh, he was a drug dealer. Robin had left that bit out of her list. “I’m not here to buy,” Steve said, holding out a hand. “I’m Steve Harrington.” He hit Eddie with his best bedroom eyes. He knew Eddie couldn’t smell him through the scent patch, but surely he’d heard of Steve Harrington, omega swim team superstar.

Eddie just stared at Steve’s hand, not extending his own. “Can I help you with something, Harrington?” He sounded annoyed. “Or are you just here to stare and interrupt our conversation?”

Okay, that was unexpected. This was not going the way Steve had expected. He typically had no trouble picking up alphas, in fact they tended to be the ones throwing themselves at Steve. He could deal with this, though. Just a little pushback. He’d try again when there weren’t so many people around, maybe Eddie was just shy.

“No, just wanted to introduce myself,” Steve said, smiling. 

Eddie waited for a moment then waved his hand away from the table. “Well, introduction done. Run along, jock boy.”

Steve stood, walking back over to Robin who had dissolved into snorting laughter at the table. 

“Oh my god, you just got shot down so hard,” she said between laughs. “How’s it feel, King Steve?” 

“He must not get subtlety, I might need to be more explicit,” Steve said, refusing to let his confidence take a hit. 

Robin wiped a few tears away from her eyes. “Sure, Steve. It definitely couldn’t just be that there’s one alpha out there in the world that won’t immediately whip their knot out for you at the first sign of interest.” 

***********

Eddie wasn’t sure what Harrington had been doing talking to him, if not to buy drugs. Maybe he was still angling for that, just trying not to scare Eddie away. Eddie knew who he was; everyone knew who Harrington was. Not just the golden boy of the swim team, but an omega with a pussy made of gold, to hear some of the alphas talk. 

He was also a cocky asshole too convinced of his own importance, and Eddie didn’t want to have anything to do with him. 

“What did Harrington want?” Gareth asked, like he hadn’t been sitting there right next to Eddie through the whole conversation.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Eddie said, and looped the conversation back around to what they had been talking about before, the upcoming campaign for the D&D club. He didn’t want to waste any more breath on that man.

************

Steve really tried to give up on Eddie after that first flop, but he found he couldn't stop thinking about him. When he'd caught a whiff of him in the elevator it had triggered the strongest response he'd ever had to a scent. The most immediately noticeable notes of his scent were pretty typical alpha scents, something in the woody family with cloves mixed in, but underneath that Steve could catch hints of something sweeter, possibly jasmine, maybe even vanilla. Not typical alpha scents. Layered underneath all of that was just a hint of patchouli. A thoroughly sophisticated scent. 

He'd tried to describe all of this to Robin to explain why he wouldn't give up yet, but she found his hyperfixation on scents in general annoying, and even though she was an omega she had never been able to pick apart a scent as well as he could. Robin's lack of interest notwithstanding, he was too intrigued to give up after just one miss. 

As luck would have it, after swim practice the next day he found himself in the mailroom at the same time as Eddie,  who was filling in the address on an envelope. It seemed like Eddie never wore scent patches; Steve was once again surrounded by his scent as soon as he walked into the mailroom. Eddie didn’t even look up as Steve walked in and grabbed his mail.

“Hello,” Steve said when it became clear Eddie wasn’t going to acknowledge him.

Eddie looked at him, frowning, and his scent went a little sour. “What do you want?” he asked.

“Just… saying hi,” Steve said awkwardly, not sure how this man kept robbing him of his typical charm.

“Alright, you’ve completed your task, run along,” Eddie said, waving a hand toward the door. The hostility was a bit shocking to Steve, who had always managed to skate through life liked by everyone around him.

“Did I do something to you at some point that I don’t remember?” Steve asked, perplexed. 

Eddie sighed and rolled his eyes. “No, Harrington. I just have very little time for drug seeking rich boys who could get me expelled if I sell to them.” 

“I’m not looking for drugs,” Steve protested. “I’m just trying to talk to you.” 

“Sure, sure,” Eddie said, looking like he very much did not believe Steve. He finished writing on the envelope and threw it into the mail slot, brushing past Steve as he left the mail room, not even saying goodbye.

Steve was honestly a bit shocked. He didn’t think anyone had ever been that mean to him, especially not anyone he was showing interest in. He was really going to have to step up his game.

************

“Steve, you forgot your scent patch again,” Robin said as he sat next to her in the dining hall. 

“I didn’t forget it,” he replied. “I intentionally didn’t put one on.”

Robin furrowed her brow. “I thought you stopped needing to do that to get laid a while ago.” 

Steve sighed. “I thought so, too. But it appears there are still some people resistant to the powers of my scentless charm and reputation.” He looked over at the table where Eddie was sitting with his friends.

“What do you know about him?” he asked Robin, nodding toward Eddie.

Robin looked over her shoulder, following his gaze and sighing. “Really? You're still on this?”

“Yes, I’m still on this.”

“Is this just one of those things where you feel slighted by his rejection so now you need to relentlessly pursue him just to prove you can?”

“No, I told you. It’s his scent.”

Robin made a frustrated noise. “You are so weird about scents, Steve. I mean, I’m an omega, too. I have a nose. He just smells like an alpha. Maybe like an alpha who spent too long in a New Age bookstore, but not in a compelling way.” 

“Well he wouldn’t smell that good to you . I think we’re scentmates,” he declared, but Robin only rolled her eyes. 

“Okay, first, those don’t exist. Second, you claim you’ve found your scentmate at least once a semester, yet you never seem to want to keep them around after the novelty wears off. Doesn’t seem like a fated pair situation to me.”

“None of those were real! This time it is.” He was well aware of how ridiculous he sounded, but it was true. Sure, he’d really liked the way all those other people had smelled, but this was much more visceral. He felt drawn to Eddie in a way he had never experienced before.

“Okay, Steve,” Robin said with a long-suffering sigh. 

The person sitting next to Eddie stood to leave, and Steve took his chance. He stood up and walked over, sitting down next to Eddie. “Hi Eddie,” he said, leaning in as close as he could without risking a punch to the face, so Eddie could get a good whiff. 

Eddie turned to him and glared, but Steve could see his nostrils flare and his eyes widen incrementally before his face snapped back into neutrality. “This is getting old, Harrington. If you don’t want drugs then could you please tell me what you do want so I can never speak to you again?” 

Not a promising response, but at least he’d gotten a little bit of a reaction. “Just wondering if you’re free this weekend,” Steve said. “There’s a party at the Sigma Chi house.”

Eddie laughed in his face, stopping when Steve frowned. “Christ, are you serious? Absolutely not, I wouldn’t be caught dead at a frat party.” 

Okay, yeah, maybe Steve had miscalculated there, it was just the first thing he thought of. “Right. They’re not great. What do you usually do for fun on the weekends?”

“What is this conversation?” Eddie asked, looking more confused than pissed off at this point. “What is your aim here, Harrington? Is this like some sort of prank with your jock buddies?”

Steve made an exasperated noise. “I don’t even hang out with them anymore outside of practice and meets. Not sure if you’ve noticed but I pretty much just spend all my time with Buckley now,” he said, motioning towards Robin.

“I haven’t noticed, because I do not give two shits about you. I don’t even give one shit. No shits are given. Now go away and stop bothering me, you’re putting me off my food.” He pointedly turned his back on Steve, who got up and walked away, a little shell-shocked. He heard a few snickers from Eddie’s friends. 

Plopping down next to Robin, Steve put his head on his arms. “That didn’t look like it went well,” Robin said, patting Steve on the back. “Was he not immediately entranced by your luscious scent?” 

Steve half-heartedly threw an elbow at her. “I could tell he noticed it, but it didn’t help. I think he really doesn’t like me.”

Robin made a sympathetic noise. “This must be very new for you, to not be liked.”

“It is,” Steve whined, sounding pitiful even to his own ears. 

“I mean, you have to admit. You probably have, like, nothing in common with him,” Robin said. 

“How can I know that if he won’t even talk to me?”

“Okay, fair,” Robin admitted.

“What do you know about him?” Steve asked, picking up his head. 

“I already told you everything I know - D&D, heavy metal, and music school. You are interested in none of those things.”

“I could be, though,” Steve said. “Does his band actually have gigs?” 

Robin sighed. “I don’t know, Steve. Are you seriously going to keep pursuing this?” 

“Yes, absolutely. I will not back down from a challenge.” 

Read the full fic on AO3

[dame-zoom-a-lot]

Boba

For @steddiesmuttyseptember week 4 Prompts: breeding kink | slap | loud | vibrator

Tags: Breeding kink if you squint, Soft Dom Eddie Munson, Brat Steve Harrington, Brat Enabler Eddie Munson, Weird Biology, Human/Monster Romance, Monster Eddie Munson, Monsterfucker Steve Harrington, Getting Slapped with a Dildo Beta: @stervrucht Inspired by the podcast section in Lydia135's "if you need me, let me know, gonna be around". The entire series is so GOOD. I was knocking the 'brat enabler' concept around in my head after reading this section and I hope I've done it some justice. Rating: E Ao3 Link

“How does this even work? You literally can’t get pregnant?”

“Look,” Robin sighs deeply. “It’s not about actually getting pregnant. I can’t even keep a plant alive. Why the fuck would I ever want to be a mother?”

“Then what is it about then?” Steve asks, nose wrinkling. “And why do you need this… squirting thing?”

“It’s about the fantasy!” Robin exclaims. “It’s about thinking about getting changed. It’s just… it’s hot ok? Eddie! Back me up here!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought I was in time out for stating correctly that breeding kink is just normal sex,” Eddie says from the couch, carefully lifting the page of his book with his knuckles to avoid tearing the paper with the sharp claws he has now.

“Ugh, talk about hypocrisy,” Robin says, lightly rapping her knuckles on Steve’s head. “You have a stabbing kink!”

“And? At least with my stabbing kink, I actually want to get stabbed. Right babe?” Steve calls out to Eddie.

Eddie wiggles his talons, grinning delightedly.

“Ugh, you’re perfect for each other. Never break up. Keep that shit contained from the population.” Robin presses her fingers to her eyes. “We are going to discuss this again when I’ve had more time to articulate my correct position. But, the point is, you have to get this with me dingus. I need the discount!”

“Can’t you just get all your girlfriends to buy one each?”

“We’re going to share,” Robin pouts. “And I’d have maybe ten dollars in my bank account after this and that’s with the group discount.”

“And you want me to enable you to buy this expensive-ass breeder dildo?”

“Yes! As you should! As my best friend!” Robin gestures so hard that she knocks her water bottle over. She bangs down on the the table for good measure. Eowyn the husky makes a deeply aggrieved huff and leaves the living room, making as much noise as possible. “See?! Eowyn agrees!”

“Eowyn just thinks you’re being loud and annoying,” Eddie says. “But, Stevie, darling, Birdie’s got a point. Who are you to deny her highness her fated sex-toy fueled bankruptcy?”

“Are you serious Eddie? This thing is like eighty dollars!” Steve sputters.

“Please Steve pleeeeease?” Robin begs.

Steve is getting assaulted by puppy dog eyes from both the side (Robin) and the back (Eddie). There’s only so much he can tolerate. He sighs. “Alright. I’ll get this stupid thing with you. But when you end up moving in with us because you can’t make rent, I’m going to tell you I told you so like a billion times.”

Robin squeals and kind of crushes him into the table with an over-enthusiastic hug.

Eddie throws him over his shoulder and marches him into their bedroom the moment Steve gets home.

“Eds, baby, what,” Steve wiggles, trying to find some sort of balance. “At least let me wash my face first, you menace.”

“Dude. Lay off your routine for one day,” Eddie insists. He throws Steve on their bed. “You’ve got to see this. It’s here!”

“What’s here?”

“The breeder dildo thing Robin made you buy with her?”

“Oh, ok?”

“Did you forget Steve? It’s only been a few weeks!”

“I didn’t… I didn’t know you actually wanted to use the thing,” Steve says laughing. “I thought we’d give it to Robin once she realizes it’s kind of gross to share a toy between partners.”

“Well, I did want to use this thing, my light, vanimelda,” Eddie pauses to lick up and down Steve’s neck. He jumps off the bed to grab something off the drawer. “And it’s here!” Eddie probably meant to hand Steve the toy. But he’s so excited that he kind of chucks it at Steve. The thing bounces off his face to land on his lap.

It’s not like any dildo he’s ever seen before. It’s vaguely phallic, sure. But it looks more like some sort of tentacle. A tube runs through the middle. There’s a pouch attached to the end of the tube. Some sort of a switch and dial dangle off the dildo itself. The pouch is full of some sort of liquid. Steve squeezes the pouch and whatever was in there gets pushed out the toy. It’s more of a sad dribble than the ‘squirt’ the ad promised, but it’s something.

“Ok, so the pouch is to squeeze...the eggy cum and that’s what’s coming out of the dildo?”

“Yep, yep,” Eddie nods.

“And what’s the… dial for?” Steve tries twisting it. He jumps back when the thing whirls to life, spraying fake cum everywhere. It’s loud.

“It’s a vibrator,” Eddie says with a glint in his eyes.

“I see that.” He feels it too. The vibration travels up his inner thighs right to his balls. The wetness feels pleasantly sticky. He was dubious before, but he isn’t anymore. Steve shifts a little and moans. Eddie giggles and pushes the vibrator harder into Steve’s legs right below the crotch.

“Do you see the vision now my love?” Eddie croons. “I’m going to get you nice and open with my tongue while this thing is vibrating against your cock. Then I’m going to put it inside you, still vibrating, while you fuck me. Does that sound good? Would that please you my dearest? My preciousssss?”

“Yes, please, all of that, minus the Gollum voice.”

“Alas, I see that I’m too far ahead of my dear Steve, but one day you’ll see the full vision.”

“Munson, I swear to god, if you make me picture fucking Gollum as I cum—”

“That would hardly be the weirdest thing I’ve done to you so far,” Eddie says, gently tracing the vibrating toy up and down Steve’s inner thigh. “Now, let’s put our hard-earned dollars to use, shall we?”

*********

Steve is on his back, wrists and ankles tied to each other on either side so he’s held open. His hair is still wet from his shower earlier. He has his blindfolds on. He can hear Eddie moving around him, taking his sweet time, occasionally licking him.

“Eddie. Please,” Steve gasps out. He’s been hard for so long it’s getting kind of painful.

“Please what babe? I thought you wanted to get all nice and cleaned up and ready? Weren’t we taking our time?”

“I just wanted to get the work gunk off of me! Not permanently lay splayed out like this!” Eddie laughs. Steve feels Eddie’s palms go up and down his belly. He writhes around, humping at nothing, trying to get any kind of friction on his poor sobbing cock. Then Eddie finally, finally, scratches down his side. Steve moans loudly. “Yes, please, that, again.” He hopes it’s bleeding.

Something soft and slimy slaps him hard on the face. The slime runs down his cheek. Steve pokes his tongue out as far as he can to catch and taste it. There’s something soft and bubbly in it. Steve keens and works his tongue, trying to work more of the thing in his mouth. He wants to swish it around, play with it, figure out what it’s reminding him of. Why does it make him feel so much hotter and worked up?

“Awww Stevie, you just wanted a good cock slapping?” Eddie croons. Something sharp, probably Eddie’s claws, pricks into Steve’s pecs. It hurts just right.

“Yes, yes. Again. Please.” Steve pants. Eddie slaps him with the toy again on the other side of his face. Then the thing gets shoved right into his mouth. Steve can feel Eddie’s cock rubbing against his. Steve sucks the toy hard, mewling. He’s pretty sure he’s drooling all over the pillow. He can feel the toy’s weird custom lube running off his cheeks onto the pillow as well. Laundry’s going to be a bitch. But it’s hard to care about that right now. Eddie’s soft fur rubs against his side. Eddie’s claws at his jugular, holding him in place. And there’s something delightfully slimy and squishy leaking into his mouth and out the side. Why is he getting so hot and bothered by the texture?

Eddie leaves the dildo in Steve’s mouth and moves away. Steve wiggles and whines, blindly looking for Eddie.

“Just a second love. Just a second. Gotta get to your pretty hole,” Eddie says with a reassuring pat on Steve’s exposed belly.

The bed shifts as Eddie moves off the bed then back on. Eddie’s tongue prods at Steve’s asshole. Steve can’t talk–there’s a leaking silicon tentacle in his mouth. Instead, he lifts his ass as much as he can to communicate that Eddie’s tongue should have been in Steve’s asshole yesterday (well, it was there yesterday, but that’s not the point).

Eddie’s particularly messy today. The slobbering, schlep sound of Eddie eating him out is driving Steve insane. He accidentally bites down hard on the very expensive dildo to. Fortunately, the thing holds. A training bead joins Eddie’s tongue, then two. Steve starts pumping his ass against Eddie’s tongue because he needs something bigger than just anal beads and tongues in there now. Eddie sputters and laughs.

“Ok, ok my liege. I did promise,” Eddie tries to pull the toy out of Steve’s mouth. Steve knows he should stop sucking on it. But it feels so good now that he’s gotten used to the silicon-y smell and taste. “Steve, baby, I can’t put this in you if you won’t let me take it.”

Steve keeps sucking.

“You want to keep it in your mouth?”

Steve shakes his head, whining.

“You want it up your ass?”

Steve nods, sucking even harder.

“So no take, only plug?” Eddie’s hands shake. He’s laughing so hard.

Steve knows he’s being impossible. But it tastes so good.

“What if,” Eddie says, running a knuckle up and down Steve’s taint, sending little jolts of pleasure across his inner thighs. “What if, I replace the dildo with my cock, and you can suck me off while I put the dildo up your ass and make it vibrate?”

Oh, that sounds perfect actually. Steve finally lets go of the dildo so Eddie can pull it out. He can’t resist giving it a little suck on its way out. Just a little one, as a treat. There’s a loud pop when Eddie manages to extricate it.

Steve smacks his lips, missing it in his mouth already. Eddie gently eases the toy up his ass. It goes in easily. It’s shorter than Eddie, but much thicker. The novelty of this new type of stretch almost sends Steve over the edge. He flexes his thighs, determined to last at least until Eddie gets his cock into his mouth.

Eddie eases himself in, and it’s heaven, being filled both top and bottom. Steve runs his tongue up and down Eddie’s cock, paying special attention to the sensitive scales that run along the side of Eddie’s dick. Eddie bucks a little, then hisses an apology. Steve can’t tug him deeper into his throat since his hands are tied, or tell him to buck harder, since his mouth is full. He tries to send the message anyway by bobbing his head as much as he can. Eddie gets the message and starts thrusting hard.

Then the dildo up Steve’s ass starts vibrating like Eddie promised. But in Steve’s defense, he was a little distracted by Eddie’s delicious, bumpy cock hitting the back of his throat. Steve almost clamps down on Eddie’s dick in surprise. Eddie squeals when he feels the beginning of Steve’s teeth. Steve manages to right himself.

“You good?” Eddie asks, giggling a little hysterically. Steve nods.

“Not gonna bite my dick off?” Eddie continues. Steve shakes his head.

“Not gonna bite my dick off even if I turn up the vibrations?”

Holy shit. He’s already so close, and he could have sworn that the vibrator was at its max setting already. It’s ripping through all of him from head to toe. But he’s not going to back down from a challenge. Steve opens his mouth wider and loosens his jaws, getting ready the best he can. He shakes his head.

Through the power of love and some other minor miracles, Steve manages to leave Eddie’s dick intact in his mouth as Eddie turns the vibrator up, and up, and up. He shakes with the effort of keeping the dildo inside; of not biting his boyfriend’s cock off. The toy is so loud it nearly drowns out Eddie’s grunts and moans as he chases his own orgasm up and down Steve’s throat. Steve feels perfect, like a thing made to take and give pleasure. He comes at the thought of being used and at the spurt of Eddie’s cum down his mouth. Steve swallows, relishing the slimy texture and the little squishy bits that pop in his mouth. Oh.

Eddie pulls out in a rush when Steve starts choking and sputtering. Steve howls with laughter as soon as his airway is free. Fuck oxygen. He needs to get these feelings out.

“Steve, Steve, talk to me. Did I break you?” Eddie sputters, laughing with Steve now that he’s sure Steve isn’t about to die from choking on his dick.

“No, no, it’s just…” Steve works his jaws. He sounds wrecked. He definitely feels like it too, loose around both his mouth and his ass. Words take so much effort. “I was trying to figure out why that dildo’s custom cum thing felt so nice.”

“Because it’s slimy and wet?”

“Yeah, but it’s also got like… little squishy bits in it.”

“Oh, what? Eww,” Eddie wrinkles his nose.

“No! It’s like eggs! Like tadpoles!”

“You’re really not selling the appeal here Steve,” Eddie says, gently untying Steve’s right wrist from his right ankle.

“Well, your cum’s like that, so,” Steve says, using his freed hand to stroke Eddie’s side.

“What?!”

“Babe, did you not know?”

“Oh, oh my fucking god. I’m never coming down your throat again. No, more than that. I’m doing a celibacy pledge. I’m a monk now. Stevie, you’ll never have to deal with my squishy cum again.” Eddie stops untying Steve to hide his face behind his hands and fluffy hair.

Steve finishes untying himself and tackles Eddie. Eddie squeals as Steve kisses him all over. “Eddie, if you really want to be celibate for the rest of your life, I’ll stay celibate right with you,” Steve says between little pecks and caresses. “But! I’m so into your cum. I’d guzzle it down any day. And judging by how many people want this dildo, I’m not alone.”

Eddie blushes. “You mean that?” He asks quietly.

“100%. You’re perfect. This was lovely.”

“Can I deal some psychic damage though? I thought of something while you were pulling me away from the brink.”

“Ugh, way to ruin the moment.” Steve pouts. “Alright, shoot.”

“So, you said this payload is a lot like my cum right?”

“Yes, and that’s why I liked it so much. Because you’re hot, and smart, and beautiful. I love how everything with you is so different, and this thing reminded me of that and—”

“Right, right! I’m assured now Stevie. So assured. But let me get to the point.”

“Ok?”

“Robin and her harem are all going to be breeding each other using my cum,” Eddie sings out. He cackles when Steve pelts him with their slimy, drool-soaked pillow.

[astonmartinii]

hi!! i really love your blog: i usually stay silent and only like the posts but i thought today should be the day i request something!

would you be open to write a social media au with lando Norris x y/n where the reader is a marine biologist? or a surfer? or something ocean-related lmao

feel free to disregard this request if you don’t like it or don’t have time!! xx

just add water | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem reader

first fish ruined his appetite, now they steal his girlfriend?

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 103,451 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: perks of the job but back on shore i clock in to my full time job of missing lando

view all comments

user1: can we have the hair routine cause miss ma'am is in the sea every damn day and her hair is still healthier than mine

user2: REAL

landonorris: f1 is just my day job, talking about you is my passion and career

yourusername: babe even the whales in monterey bay know about you

landonorris: they better be mclaren fans

yourusername: eh i think i heard super max (whale edition) the other day

maxverstappen1: conquered all of f1 and the seven seas so real of me

landonorris: THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING THE RISING OCEAN TEMPERATURES ARE FRYING THEIR BRAINS

yourusername: babe don't joke about that :(

landonorris: sorry :(

oscarpiastri: can you please come to the next race i may put my head through a wall if i have to watch this man go through his camera roll again RETELLING me all of the stories

yourusername: didn't realise we were so annoying 🧐

oscarpiastri: don't get me wrong you guys are cute but sometimes i wanna nap after practice in peace and not hear about whale shit

landonorris: i SEE HOW IT IS

alexalbon: no oscar is right i've heard about when had a baby seal on her surfboard about seven billion times

yourusername: HEY that was cute

user3: okay but lando could talk to ME about y/n's adventures

user4: i want to hear ALL of it for real

user5: lando and y/n podcast when?

alexalbon: do not give them ideas they’re already number one and two yappers in the international waffling championship

yourusername: yapper and proud 😤

landonorris: healthy relationship communications and boundaries? no. yappers? yes!

alexalbon: has anyone ever told you guys you’re annoying?

yourusername: yes 😃

user6: they’re so annoying i love them

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,209,451 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: does this girl own a pair of trousers? real question.

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user8: i actually don't think i've ever seen a man this down bad

user9: ALL men should aspire to be this whipped

yourusername: i wish you would join the no trouser revolution, give the girlies something to look at

user10: i agree

yourusername: okay back up babe that ass is all mine

landonorris: it's okay babe you can admire your (my) ass all the time if you come home PLS

yourusername: sorry babe the ocean doesn't sleep and the whales need me

landonorris: but i need you too :(

maxverstappen1: WAH WAH I'M SICK OF YOUR FUCKING WHINING

alexalbon: THANK YOU FINALLY

landonorris: erm why am i being victimised in my own comment section

maxverstappen1: you are doing my fucking nut in mate yeha i get you miss her but kinda your fault for having a cool gf with a cool job

yourusername: omg thanks 😊

landonorris: Y/N???

yourusername: babe no offence but he's a three time world champ i'm gonna take the compliment

landonorris: i guess so :(

user10: just one normal comment section, please that is all i ask for

oscarpiastri: maybe i should get on this whole j.peg business cause my photography is doing some heavy lifting here

yourusername: i didn't take you for a stunt queen miss rookie

landonorris: where is the peace, love and positivity ?? you guys are such haters

oscarpiastri: proudly

yourusername: no cool shells for you mr piastri

oscarpiastri: I TAKE IT BACK

landonorris: you people are such flip flops

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, landonorris and 112,872 others

yourusername: i promise we do actually do work

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user14: why am i now considering a marine biology degree for a sick ass instagram feed

user15: and protecting the sanctity of ocean life?

user14: yeah sure throw that in there too?

landonorris: i hope you slapped the FUCK out of that stingray for steve irwin

yourusername: babe we all know violence is not the answer

landonorris: you said you'd break the knee caps of any driver that took me out?

yourusername: i do not recall this

landonorris: steve irwin is a national treasure, you should've done it for oscar

oscarpiastri: i'm sure it wasn't that exact stingray mate

landonorris: you don't know that

danielricciardo: i see you've forgotten about the other aussie you were teammates with ???

yourusername: i wouldn't have that if i were you daniel

landonorris: y/n??? you're meant to be on my side

yourusername: say sorry to larry and maybe i'll gang up on daniel with you

danielricciardo: Y/N???

landonorris: i'm sorry larry ... and daniel i guess ?

danielricciardo: if my hand weren't broken right now...

user16: okay i think lando is having y/n withdrawals

yourusername: his bitchiness is a symptom of separation anxiety

landonorris: sorry not sorry

user17: mclaren pr praying for y/n to come to a race soon

maxverstappen1: p says pretty please can she bagsy the pink shells?

yourusername: most definitely she can !! i'll even be on the look out for more

maxverstappen1: thank you y/n you're my favourite - p

yourusername: that's it i'm coming home rn

landonorris: am i a joke to you?

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,322,099 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: reunited and it feels so good oh and a double podium, pretty sweet

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user21: obsessed with how lando said that y/n is clearly his lucky charm and the "dumbass" ocean won't be getting his girlfriend back

user22: there's levels to hating and lando's level of hating on the ocean??

user23: his hatred of fish makes so much more sense right now

user24: either he hates anything to do with the ocean or y/n convinced him they deserve to live 😭

landonorris: i'll say it's number one but realistically it's two greatly helped by the fact that it tastes gross anyway

yourusername: I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU

landonorris: i know hhehehehehehehe

yourusername: i love you stupid

landonorris: i love you too dummy

yourusername: as much as i enjoyed this race i am ready for home time (after karaoke, you promised me karaoke with yuki)

landonorris: AHAHAHAAH TAKE THAT OCEAN Y/N COMING HOME

alexalbon: bro has beef with the ocean 😭

georgerussell63: bro had to share his gf with WATER 😭

maxverstappen1: bro is being ... torn apart here KEEP GOING LOL

oscarpiastri: no keep going cause i just want a nap before debrief and some people are being WAY TOO LOUD

carlossainz55: i think that's probably why you guys are getting away with bullying the little goblin

user25: oscar out here just confirming that lando and y/n are ... for lack of a better word up to no good?

user26: y/n didn't lie when she called him a stunt queen

landonorris: i can't hear y'all LALALALALALA

yourusername: they hate us because they ain't us

landonorris: period 💅

user27: i hate (love) them your honour

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 419,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: so he had the whole proposal planned out but got a bit too excited at suzuka ... if anyone asks we got engaged on a boat in the mediterranean not in his driver's room. aside from that, HOLY FUCK I AM ENGAGED TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I LOVE YOU LANDO I CAN'T WAIT FOR FOREVER

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user30: HOLY 😭 FUCKING 😭 SHIT 😭

landonorris: can we agree on no more like three month placements pretty please?

yourusername: baby the whales need me

landonorris: i need you more FIANCE :(

yourusername: gosh you are convincing, no more retreats for more than a month

landonorris: yay !!

yourusername: you need to put up more shelves for our shells though

landonorris: on it, i love you (i'm calling my dad to do it)

yourusername: i love you too baby

danielricciardo: enchante tease on the engagement post and for free ??? love you two

yourusername: at least you have the prettiest model ever for it

landonorris: I'M BLUSHING

danielricciardo: i'll deal with this because i'm happy for you two

mclarenf1: double podium and an engagement, suzuka really delivered this year

oscarpiastri: i guess i take back my comments about being loud in the drivers room... i'm so happy for you guys you deserve it

landonorris: ahaha i knew you were a softy really pastry boy

yourusername: i always knew you loved us really oscar, you're just sassy and we respect that

landonorris: .... sure

maxverstappen1: did he propose at sea in one final power move over his arch nemesis the ocean?

yourusername: have you considered he did it at sea because i'm a marine biologist and i love it out there and he loves me?

maxverstappen1: well now i look like an asshole

landonorris: the sea 0 - 1 lando

yourusername: lando 😭

user31: well this has all been a rollercoaster

fin.

note: i've been kinda mia on here and i'm super sorry this request has taken so long lol. wanted to get this out now though cause lando had a horrid day today but i'm glad he's okay !! enjoy, i'm in my second week of a job so might get less busy xx